Like a lot of people along the east coast, this past weekend Miss H and I spent most of our time without power, hot, and generally bored with an occasional twinge of panic as the flood waters crept up our front lawn. Thankfully, we didn't suffer any real damage and as of about two hours ago once again have power. The ability to flip on a switch and have light was a real treat after spending two days with candles and flashlights.
We did manage to sneak in a little fun Saturday afternoon, Miss H allowed me to not only have sex with her, but to cum inside her as well. It was an unexpected treat but as much as I enjoyed it, I think I'm starting to enjoy the relentless sexual buildup, denial, and domination at the hands of Miss H just as much if not more. It used to be that an orgasm was the be all and end all. It was the goal that you strived for and also the signal that sex was now finished for the night.
I find myself now looking back at the past six months or so and missing that almost more then I've enjoyed the recent freedom Miss H has allowed in terms of being able to cum. I'm not complaining, it's felt amazing to be able to cum again after being denied for so long, but there's something about being turned on all the time, about being excited and nervous all the time, about having an unrelenting desire for Miss H virtually every minute of the day that I just miss.
I'm not sure how to get back into that mode either. We both have tried to kick start things but every time it gets going something outside of our control stops it dead in its tracks or at best delays it. I'm now taking some additional classes along with working so if I'm not up late working on something for school, then I'm exhausted from working all day. Add in some family issues we've had to deal with and it's hard to stay in the right mindset. Perhaps that's the problem, we're to busy trying to find the perfect time to have the perfect night of perfect, kinky sex when instead we should just jump right back in, get started again and enjoy it. When I say we, I should probably clarify that to mean me. Now that I think about it, Miss H has been pretty cool with things and I think that has sort of been her mindset recently. I guess it's me that needs to get on board with the idea.
The inner thoughts and musings of a submissive transvestite.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I think I broke myself.
So although Miss H and I seem to be back on the same page in terms of our FLR and sex life in general, we hit an unexpected snag that is temporarily putting a hold on things. It seems as though Miss H's cock looks like it just got ran over by a bus. A mental image I'm sure you're happy to be envisioning right now. The problem arose for two reasons - 1) Miss H wore a sexy pair of fishnet type panties & 2) I spent an inordinate amount of time dry humping her ass.
I guess I was so horny that the pain from the excessive rubbing didn't register at the time. It was only the next morning when I wandered into the shower still half asleep and felt that first rush of hot water did I almost yell out in pain. Looking down I could see wide patches of angry red looking skin all along the shaft and head. The fishnet panties with their ridges, while extremely attractive, also served to act like sandpaper, grinding against that sensitive flesh and making a mess of things.
It feels a little better now but taking a shower is no joy. The redness is there as well but there are no open areas on the skin so I think I should be fine as long as I take it easy and let it heal up over the next few days. Of course that's becoming increasingly difficult as Miss H is back into her tease and denial mode. It's almost like a vicious form of chastity, so although I'm not physically restrained behind a plastic or steel cage, I still can't even receive any pleasure nor am I overly eager to try regardless of how horny I've become recently.
The mind is willing but the flesh is unable. For now.
I guess I was so horny that the pain from the excessive rubbing didn't register at the time. It was only the next morning when I wandered into the shower still half asleep and felt that first rush of hot water did I almost yell out in pain. Looking down I could see wide patches of angry red looking skin all along the shaft and head. The fishnet panties with their ridges, while extremely attractive, also served to act like sandpaper, grinding against that sensitive flesh and making a mess of things.
It feels a little better now but taking a shower is no joy. The redness is there as well but there are no open areas on the skin so I think I should be fine as long as I take it easy and let it heal up over the next few days. Of course that's becoming increasingly difficult as Miss H is back into her tease and denial mode. It's almost like a vicious form of chastity, so although I'm not physically restrained behind a plastic or steel cage, I still can't even receive any pleasure nor am I overly eager to try regardless of how horny I've become recently.
The mind is willing but the flesh is unable. For now.
Back
It's been a while since I last posted anything, not because I haven't had the time, but because, to be perfectly honest I really didn't want to. There is always a bit of an emotional letdown after orgasming and that is especially true when you've been denied for over three months. The mental change from brain bending horniness to the calm of post orgasm mellowing just puts you in an entirely different place. Miss H always gets upset after I cum because she says, and she's right, that my whole mood and attitude change. It goes from thinking about sex 24/7 to all of a sudden, "I should mow the lawn today because it's supposed to rain tomorrow".
Whether it's the need to cool off from the nearly non-stop sense of kink that's in the air when Miss H and I are in the zone or simply just some unwanted hormones messing with my psyche, I don't know. In the past we've come up with some work arounds such as as soon as I cum we immediately go right back in the kink mode so not even the slightest hint of vanilla can creep in. I'll be allowed to cum then right away be ordered to get dressed in a slutty outfit or not allowed out of what ever I was wearing before I came. This has worked rather well and provided the nudge I need to get back in the right mental place as Miss H's sissy slave.
This past time two weeks ago was different though, I just literally had no desire for anything remotely sexual for the longest time. Well, let me rephrase that, I had the desire, just not the motivation to act on it. I was on Tumblr all the time and always trying to sneak a peek at my beautiful Mistress, but I just felt sort of sexually lazy. I don't think there was one particular reason for this but instead a collection of circumstances that taken as a whole kind of had me "off my game" so to speak. I know Miss H often times took this lack of enthusiasm as a lack of interest in her and our FLR life but it really wasn't. There were numerous things going on (family, school, work, etc) that I won't go into detail about, mainly because they're not all that exciting, but contributed to a feeling of malaise sexually.
Last night Miss H finally had enough, she was putting up with my "vanilla break" for a while because she's a wonderful woman who cares about me and about us as a couple, but things had reached an end for her. I often forget that even though my horniness changes after I'm allowed orgasm, hers doesn't. For months now I've been her faithful sissy, cooking meals, taking care of the house, servicing her, and doing my best to treat her like a goddess. To suddenly have that little puppy dog following you around and waiting at your every beck and call to overnight transform into a more reserved person must be jarring. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I turn into Mr. Hyde and become an obnoxious, mouth breathing, wife beater, I just become more of a good fiancee then a doting submissive.
So anyway, we were sitting in bed last night watching TV when she out of nowhere just pushed me down and made me start worshiping her feet. It was just the unexpected spark needed to kick start things once more. It wasn't long before I was naked and curled up around her, slowly dry humping her leg because even though she made no mention of it, I knew there was no way she would allow me inside her. She spelled out in detail why she was upset with my recent attitude and how she would never let something like that happen again. She made a special point to emphasize that from now on she would be not only much more pro-active in making sure I stayed in line, but that my lack of respect meant that her being "nice" was a thing of the past.
Although I'm sure I'll regret it later, the thought of her being even more cruel, demanding, and merciless, excites me greatly. I've told her many times in the past that she should focus more on what she wants to do then trying to act out some scene that she thinks I would enjoy and get off on. I think she has really taken that to heart, or at least hope she has.
I definitely feel like we're getting back in the groove again and that's a good thing. It's funny how smoothly our relationship runs for both of us when I'm dressed, diapered, and serving my Mistress as her little sissy whore ;) I can say though that I doubt I'll be allowed to orgasm again any time soon. I don't think Miss H wants to go through that aggravation again any time in the near future. I'll be back to posting more frequently now and responding to emails, etc in a more timely manner. Now if you'll excuse me, Miss H's feet look like they could use some attention.
Whether it's the need to cool off from the nearly non-stop sense of kink that's in the air when Miss H and I are in the zone or simply just some unwanted hormones messing with my psyche, I don't know. In the past we've come up with some work arounds such as as soon as I cum we immediately go right back in the kink mode so not even the slightest hint of vanilla can creep in. I'll be allowed to cum then right away be ordered to get dressed in a slutty outfit or not allowed out of what ever I was wearing before I came. This has worked rather well and provided the nudge I need to get back in the right mental place as Miss H's sissy slave.
This past time two weeks ago was different though, I just literally had no desire for anything remotely sexual for the longest time. Well, let me rephrase that, I had the desire, just not the motivation to act on it. I was on Tumblr all the time and always trying to sneak a peek at my beautiful Mistress, but I just felt sort of sexually lazy. I don't think there was one particular reason for this but instead a collection of circumstances that taken as a whole kind of had me "off my game" so to speak. I know Miss H often times took this lack of enthusiasm as a lack of interest in her and our FLR life but it really wasn't. There were numerous things going on (family, school, work, etc) that I won't go into detail about, mainly because they're not all that exciting, but contributed to a feeling of malaise sexually.
Last night Miss H finally had enough, she was putting up with my "vanilla break" for a while because she's a wonderful woman who cares about me and about us as a couple, but things had reached an end for her. I often forget that even though my horniness changes after I'm allowed orgasm, hers doesn't. For months now I've been her faithful sissy, cooking meals, taking care of the house, servicing her, and doing my best to treat her like a goddess. To suddenly have that little puppy dog following you around and waiting at your every beck and call to overnight transform into a more reserved person must be jarring. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I turn into Mr. Hyde and become an obnoxious, mouth breathing, wife beater, I just become more of a good fiancee then a doting submissive.
So anyway, we were sitting in bed last night watching TV when she out of nowhere just pushed me down and made me start worshiping her feet. It was just the unexpected spark needed to kick start things once more. It wasn't long before I was naked and curled up around her, slowly dry humping her leg because even though she made no mention of it, I knew there was no way she would allow me inside her. She spelled out in detail why she was upset with my recent attitude and how she would never let something like that happen again. She made a special point to emphasize that from now on she would be not only much more pro-active in making sure I stayed in line, but that my lack of respect meant that her being "nice" was a thing of the past.
Although I'm sure I'll regret it later, the thought of her being even more cruel, demanding, and merciless, excites me greatly. I've told her many times in the past that she should focus more on what she wants to do then trying to act out some scene that she thinks I would enjoy and get off on. I think she has really taken that to heart, or at least hope she has.
I definitely feel like we're getting back in the groove again and that's a good thing. It's funny how smoothly our relationship runs for both of us when I'm dressed, diapered, and serving my Mistress as her little sissy whore ;) I can say though that I doubt I'll be allowed to orgasm again any time soon. I don't think Miss H wants to go through that aggravation again any time in the near future. I'll be back to posting more frequently now and responding to emails, etc in a more timely manner. Now if you'll excuse me, Miss H's feet look like they could use some attention.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Sissy's all tied up at the moment...
Miss H here, posting for Christie tonight, as she's unavailable to type... or move.
That last picture is my personal favorite. By the way, that's her silver club dress. Ok, lovelies, good night!
That last picture is my personal favorite. By the way, that's her silver club dress. Ok, lovelies, good night!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Feeling the strap-on again
I have to offer up the obligatory "I'm sorry for not posting in a few days but I was busy with other stuff" disclaimer because, well, I've been rather busy since Miss H finally made it back home late last week. It felt really good to be back in her arms and under her feet. The long, stressful ordeal of her presentation/business trip was over but she was clearly exhausted so the first few days of her return were spent in chill mode, just relaxing and getting back into the swing of things. We were busy most of the weekend with other things so it wasn't really until last night that we really had any alone time for the two of us together.
It was short but very sweet, I was dressed in one of my favorite outfits, my silver club dress and white lingerie with matching white platforms. Miss H was wearing a pair of almost sheer mesh panties and a cute little top. We spent a good portion of the time just kind of hanging out together and enjoying each others company, the occasional hand-job to tease me and keep me constantly leaking pre-cum.
The teasing like that went on for a while until I rather presumptively blurted out, "Mistress, can we please use the strap-on?". She smiled and ordered me off to retrieve it for her. It wasn't long before I was laying on my back on the bed with Miss H standing before me, her huge pink dildo waving menacingly in the air in front of her.
It was short but very sweet, I was dressed in one of my favorite outfits, my silver club dress and white lingerie with matching white platforms. Miss H was wearing a pair of almost sheer mesh panties and a cute little top. We spent a good portion of the time just kind of hanging out together and enjoying each others company, the occasional hand-job to tease me and keep me constantly leaking pre-cum.
The teasing like that went on for a while until I rather presumptively blurted out, "Mistress, can we please use the strap-on?". She smiled and ordered me off to retrieve it for her. It wasn't long before I was laying on my back on the bed with Miss H standing before me, her huge pink dildo waving menacingly in the air in front of her.
She strapped it on and walked to the side of the bed. She just stood there with it pointing at me. She didn't have to say anything, I knew exactly what she wanted me to do. I quickly dropped to my knees on the floor and took the rubber cock into my mouth. Normally she's somewhat gentle with the oral because I have a bit of a gag reflex so she refrains from the rougher stuff. Last night though she was for the first time rather rough. Not quite full on Max Hardcore kind of brutal but a bit departure from what I've become accustomed to.
Truthfully though I really loved it. It wasn't easy trying to accommodate that big dick in my mouth but it was awesome trying. If being made to suck a dildo is a humiliating way to make someone feel submissive and sissy like, then being rudely face fucked is that much worse.There's a reason so many men enjoy watching rough porn like Max does, because it completely degrades the other person and turns them into an object. While a part of me feels bad that they have to endure it, I totally got off on it being done to me. The objectification of it had me dripping and moaning like a whore in heat. I'm not sure what that says about me as a person, but regardless, I was enjoying myself ;)
She then made me put a condom on her strapon before once again making me suck it, every once in a while removing it from my mouth so she could slap me across the face with it. Soon after she ordered me up onto the bed again and to lay down on my back. Personally I prefer when she lays down and I ride on top of her because the angle of the dildo seems to hit just the right spot, allowing me to cum without any penis stimulation at all. While it does feel good, it's not a full orgasm, just a pleasurable sensation then a huge load of cum just sort of falls out of me. No arching, forceful spurts, just a flow like water spilling out of a full cup. When we do doggy style or missionary it still feels good but I've never been able to cum like I can when I'm on top.
Miss H wasn't in the mood for that position and I was just happy to feel her thick strapon again so I quickly complied. My legs were high and wide in the air as she positioned herself in front of me. Using some Wet Platinum she lubed up the big dildo and my ass before placing the tip of the cock against me. It had been some time since I've been fucked like this but her dildo still easily slid inside me. The feeling of every inch of that cock sliding in me and filling me up had me instantly turned on and begging for more. Usually Miss H sits on her knees and while holding my legs apart fucks me at a nice steady pace. This time, much like the oral, she seemed in a much more aggressive mood. She leaned down on top of me so we were almost face to face. My legs eagerly wrapped around her back trying to pull her deeper inside of me. She soon was pounding in to me much harder and faster, my hips bucking up to meet her every thrust. It didn't take but a another minute or two of this and I felt a sudden tingle at the base of Miss H's cock and then a wetness as a huge load of cum poured out across my stomach
Mistress straightened up enough to allow me to lick of what cum had gotten onto her stomach and then get out of the stockings and dress, both of which were now soaked in cum. At first I thought Miss H was being nice because she felt bad I would have to sleep in wet, cum covered clothes. Then I realized she didn't care about that, she just didn't want me to mess up the sheets.
This is what I woke up to this morning. Cum covered clothes, a half empty bottle of nail polish, condom wrapper, near empty bottle of good quality vodka, and assorted other goodies. Proof positive that last night was a lot of fun. It's good to have Miss H back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)