It's been a while since I last posted anything, not because I haven't had the time, but because, to be perfectly honest I really didn't want to. There is always a bit of an emotional letdown after orgasming and that is especially true when you've been denied for over three months. The mental change from brain bending horniness to the calm of post orgasm mellowing just puts you in an entirely different place. Miss H always gets upset after I cum because she says, and she's right, that my whole mood and attitude change. It goes from thinking about sex 24/7 to all of a sudden, "I should mow the lawn today because it's supposed to rain tomorrow".
Whether it's the need to cool off from the nearly non-stop sense of kink that's in the air when Miss H and I are in the zone or simply just some unwanted hormones messing with my psyche, I don't know. In the past we've come up with some work arounds such as as soon as I cum we immediately go right back in the kink mode so not even the slightest hint of vanilla can creep in. I'll be allowed to cum then right away be ordered to get dressed in a slutty outfit or not allowed out of what ever I was wearing before I came. This has worked rather well and provided the nudge I need to get back in the right mental place as Miss H's sissy slave.
This past time two weeks ago was different though, I just literally had no desire for anything remotely sexual for the longest time. Well, let me rephrase that, I had the desire, just not the motivation to act on it. I was on Tumblr all the time and always trying to sneak a peek at my beautiful Mistress, but I just felt sort of sexually lazy. I don't think there was one particular reason for this but instead a collection of circumstances that taken as a whole kind of had me "off my game" so to speak. I know Miss H often times took this lack of enthusiasm as a lack of interest in her and our FLR life but it really wasn't. There were numerous things going on (family, school, work, etc) that I won't go into detail about, mainly because they're not all that exciting, but contributed to a feeling of malaise sexually.
Last night Miss H finally had enough, she was putting up with my "vanilla break" for a while because she's a wonderful woman who cares about me and about us as a couple, but things had reached an end for her. I often forget that even though my horniness changes after I'm allowed orgasm, hers doesn't. For months now I've been her faithful sissy, cooking meals, taking care of the house, servicing her, and doing my best to treat her like a goddess. To suddenly have that little puppy dog following you around and waiting at your every beck and call to overnight transform into a more reserved person must be jarring. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I turn into Mr. Hyde and become an obnoxious, mouth breathing, wife beater, I just become more of a good fiancee then a doting submissive.
So anyway, we were sitting in bed last night watching TV when she out of nowhere just pushed me down and made me start worshiping her feet. It was just the unexpected spark needed to kick start things once more. It wasn't long before I was naked and curled up around her, slowly dry humping her leg because even though she made no mention of it, I knew there was no way she would allow me inside her. She spelled out in detail why she was upset with my recent attitude and how she would never let something like that happen again. She made a special point to emphasize that from now on she would be not only much more pro-active in making sure I stayed in line, but that my lack of respect meant that her being "nice" was a thing of the past.
Although I'm sure I'll regret it later, the thought of her being even more cruel, demanding, and merciless, excites me greatly. I've told her many times in the past that she should focus more on what she wants to do then trying to act out some scene that she thinks I would enjoy and get off on. I think she has really taken that to heart, or at least hope she has.
I definitely feel like we're getting back in the groove again and that's a good thing. It's funny how smoothly our relationship runs for both of us when I'm dressed, diapered, and serving my Mistress as her little sissy whore ;) I can say though that I doubt I'll be allowed to orgasm again any time soon. I don't think Miss H wants to go through that aggravation again any time in the near future. I'll be back to posting more frequently now and responding to emails, etc in a more timely manner. Now if you'll excuse me, Miss H's feet look like they could use some attention.