She basically controls when and where I'm allowed to pee and in what manner. Now it's not like a catheter where it becomes completely involuntary, I mean after all I can hold it, but eventually the dam breaks shall we say and I go. That feeling of loss of control and utter degradation as I stand there before her urinating into a diaper because she's forced me to drink fluids all day is amazing. There's no way to feel anything but worthless and owned when you slink away after wards to change as your Mistress just smiles and laughs at you.
Yesterday morning I casually mentioned something about the diaper to Miss H. I say casually because it's something that I'm still rather embarrassed to talk about with her so I didn't want to make a big deal about. Anyway, she didn't say much about it so I assumed we were done on that particular topic when she out of the blue said we were going to see a movie that afternoon and oh by the way, I would be wearing a nice big bulky diaper for the rest of the day. I was both super turned on and mortified at the same time. Thrilled to be allowed to wear the diaper, scared to death at the thought of wearing it underneath my clothes out in public for the rest of the afternoon.
I wanted to be really padded when I went out both because I like feeling like I'm wearing a big diaper and not just a diaper that feels like a pair of underwear and also because I was scared of any potential accidents in public. The latter was almost guaranteed not to happen because the diapers I use are very effective, but just to make sure I started with some basic pull up diapers with an added male guard insert, then attached a nice thick pair of Tranquility all through the nights, and finally covered up everything with a pair of clear plastic panties.
In my vanilla life I usually wear kind of baggy cargo pants and I was really glad I did this particular day because they did a really good job of covering up the extreme girth and size of the diapers. It felt like I had a watermelon between my legs as I started walking out to the car. I asked Miss H if anything looked readily visible and she smiled and said of course not. Somehow I didn't quite believe her but at this point what other choice did I really have. We soon got to the mall and as we walked through the parking lot to the movie theater I was crazy self conscious about things, pulling my shirt down constantly to try and hide what I imagined was a giant hump showing through my pants. I was sure that everyone would know exactly what was going on the minute they saw me.
Another couple walking close to us started to laugh about something and immediately my chest constricted as a wave of panic raced through my body. Instantly I assumed they saw me and were making fun of me. I don't think I took a breath again until out of the corner of my eye I noticed that they weren't even paying the slightest bit of attention to us and were instead reading something on his cell phone. After getting our tickets and food we hung out in the lobby for a while until our particular theater was open and available. For a minute I even started to relax a bit because by now we'd been in the mall and movie theater for probably close to 15-20 minutes and it appeared as though no one had been the wiser about the diaper wearing sissy bitch among them.
Mistress of course seemed to be in absolute heaven as she watched me act like a nervous little school girl among all these people. She would lean in toward me and say things like "how many men do you think are wearing diapers out here today besides you? Probably not many because real men aren't little bitches like you and want to wearing a fucking diaper out in public." She was only really whispering but I was getting a bit freaked out that someone might over hear our conversation so I made the mistake of telling her not to talk to loudly.
Mental note, don't do that *EVER* again.
She looked at me, took at a glance over at the three hot young teen girls standing maybe 10 feet from us, looked back at me, and then in a loud voice calmly said, "what's the matter you don't people to know that you asked me to allow you to wear a diaper out in public today?" My stomach curled into a death grip and I think for at least a moment or two my heart stopped as I looked around in a panic. Thankfully, the girls seemed to be to absorbed in their own conversation to pay attention to anything going on around them so they didn't even bat an eyelash or turn around. The ghostly white look on my face was enough to let Mistress know that I had learned my lesson, and learned it quickly.
As we walked into our theater I couldn't help but think about what Mistress told me on the drive down. I had boasted about how this particular configuration of diapers was rated for some obscene amount of fluid retention and time length without leaking, when she simply said, "that's good to know, maybe I'll make you keep it on for the next day or so". I didn't think she would actually make me do it but with Miss H you never really know, she can be devious when you least expect it.
While waiting for the movie to start, and for the sound to begin (apparently the dude up in the projection booth was to busy txting his girlfriend to realize there was no audio), I snapped a quick pic of me in our seats. I don't think the bulge in my pants from the diaper is overly noticeable and it was actually quite comfortable to wear. The quality of the pic is rather crappy, but I didn't want to use a flash and the theater was rather dark so after several attempts this was the best one. I should have taken a few more pics like while I was getting dressed, etc but at the time I didn't even think about it so this is all I've got for now.
Oh, and as a final kick in the nuts. Mistress leans over and whispers in my ear, "to bad your wearing that diaper, as a reward I was going to jerk you off but I guess I can't now can I, what with you all secured in that nice, thick, diaper..." She smiled, I groaned, and the movie began.