Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Hitting the books.

Miss H and I have been actively kinky for a good portion of our relationship together. It was more of a way to spice up our sex life in the past and with our recent change to FLR we've begun to embrace it as part of our daily life. It's a good change, but still a change none the less and there for we've really had to make sure that we have open lines of communication between us. Kinks and other interests that might be ok to do once a month during the heat of the moment might not be ok to do on a daily basis for instance and that's where talking things over becomes critical. I love the sexual side of myself but I don't want that to end up destroying the overall relationship I have with Miss H.

Miss H is very liberal and open minded when it comes to sex so she's never had a problem with me dressing before. She doesn't have a problem with it now either but the idea of doing it on a much more consistent basis and as part of who we are as a couple has, how shall I put this, made her become introspective about things. I honestly don't know how she feels 100% about certain aspects of our kink and my dressing in particular. I don't think it's a matter of being upset, just apprehension about how that change might affect us, like parents being nervous before the birth of their child.

She's recently began reading a book called My Husband Betty that deals with those issues and I think it's really helped her and helped our fledgling FLR relationship. In fact she ordered me to start reading it as well and we will be having a little book club "meeting" once a week to discuss questions or concerns either of us have. It looks like it will be a great way to get out in the open any possible problems and deal with them before they become potential relationship land mines.

As time goes on I'll probably blog about certain discussions we've had or parts of the book that I found interesting, upsetting, or whatever. For now though I have to get back to work. Talk to you again soon.

Monday, March 28, 2011

New routine

Last night Miss H and I had some free time to ourselves so naturally it wasn't long before I was all whored up in my new favorite dress, the silver, super tight little club dress I've had for about a month now. Mistress helped me with my makeup and while she was in the middle of my that she commented that from now on I would need to start on a skin care regime to make me more feminine. Facial scrubs, moisturizers, and a few other products would need to be started on a daily basis.

This is definitely going to take some getting used to. In my every day male life, up to our recent decision to move into a more permanent FLR arrangement, my entire "beauty routine" consisted of a quick 10 minute shower, brushing my teeth, and out the door for work. Since our switch to a FLR relationship, that has changed slightly, now I also have to make sure my toes are always painted and that I never have any hair below the neck on my body. Suddenly having to use more then just bodywash is a bit new but I'm excited to get started because anything Mistress does to help feminize me is A-ok with me ;)

In fact, I'm actually looking forward to it. It's funny actually, Miss H never really pushed me wearing makeup all that much. I always assumed it was because she got off more on the humiliation of seeing her man in a dress then having her man look like a woman. We were talking about this the other day and she mentioned it wasn't because she didn't want me in makeup and a wig, but because as a woman she found all that primping and self care a chore and thought I felt the same way about it. She never realized that as a total submissive, sissy, that was half of the fun for me, the experience of transforming  the outside into the way I felt on the inside.

She was surprised to hear me say that but seemed totally on board with the idea. In fact she wants to expand on it and use me as her personal barbie doll makeup head to try out new makeup and different styles, from slutty whore to freaky cyber goth chick and everything in between. I can't wait.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

This is awesome.

As a regular reader of MsMarie's blog I noticed an entry today about face harness's. One of the gags she didn't go with was called The Humiliator. Now I've seen that particular gag in plenty of different fetish porn pics and movies but I never really knew what it was called and for whatever reason never bothered to google it. Seeing the pic (and the actual name) on her blog today intrigued me enough to do a little research on it.

As you can see from the pic above, it looks like any number of other regular face harness/gag's but it has one important difference. The attachment bar that sticks out from the front of the gag. Here you can switch in and out a whole host of devious contraptions like the toilet brush above, a toilet paper holder, a boot brush, a serving tray, an ashtray, a dildo, a feather duster, and a swivel snap to attach your slave to a pole or any restraints you may have laying around.

It doesn't take much of an imagination to think up some creative ways to torture your sub with this little gem. Serving you drinks with the small tray attachment becomes an ominous challenge while just imagine the humiliation of having to become a human toilet paper roll for your Mistress/Master, silently sitting on all fours, naked in the bathroom as you await the opportunity to be useful and finally serve some purpose. I can only imagine the joy Miss H would take from watching me dressed in my maid's outfit, wrists and ankles tied tight to make movement difficult, as I struggled to do my scheduled housework. Laughing as she occasionally changed out the attachments to suit her cleaning orders.

The harness itself is about $125 with each attachment running about $30-$50, so while it's not exactly cheap, it does seem like it would be a whole lot of fun to play around with. If anyone has any experience with it please feel free to share and leave a comment.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Monday, March 14, 2011

So far so good.

I've you read Miss H's blog then you've probably already know that she and I have entered into a new phase of our relationship. We've gone from a "normal" vanilla relationship with a lot of fetish elements to a FLR or Female Led Relationship. Personally that's something I've always wanted but it never seemed to be in the cards for me.

With Miss H though, not only is she totally on board with the idea, she's the one who actually suggested it and wrote out what we call  The Principles. They're a set of guidelines and rules that form the basis for our 24/7 FLR life together. In a perfect world 24/7 would mean around the clock kind and sexual craziness on a daily basis but do to various *minor* issues (work, family issues, etc) that type of lifestyle is more erotic fiction then realistic day to day life.

By no means should that give you the idea we aren't 100% serious, Miss H is my goddess and I treat her as such, it just simply means that we lead our life knowing full well that occasionally I won't get fucked in the ass because the car needs a trip to Jiffy Lube for an oil change instead. Just like romantic love can be interupted by having to stay late at the office, so too can our FLR relationship.

So far things have been great and I have absolutely no regrets what so ever. There's still a bit of a newness to the whole thing as Miss H and I get more accustomed to our roles and feel more comfortable exploring the dynamics of this new lifestyle. I think I'm willing to accept more pain and humiliation then Miss H might feel comfortable right now dishing out, but in time it will all balance out. For me one of the hardest things is to get accustomed to doing sexual things in totally non sexual situations. For example in the past Miss H might order to get dressed in a slutty outfit and we would then have wild passionate sex. Now, she may order me to get dressed like a slut but during the middle of a basketball game on TV an do nothing more then sit on the sofa quietly while she reads a magazine and ignores me, any inkling of sexual interaction not even registering on her radar.

I find the FLR fulfilling in ways that I never would have imagined. There's a certain sense of inner calm and love I feel virtually around the clock now. I don't have to worry if Miss H is in the mood for sex, she'll tell me when I feel pleasure and when my little cock will be caged and kept waiting for when she wants it. I no longer worry if I'm giving her a massage properly or choosing a restaurant she'll like or wearing and outfit she finds sexy because now I don't have the option to choose unless she allows me to. She picks what she wants and does what she wants. Miss H of course is too nice to abuse these privileges (although I wish she would ;) so while this might not work for a lot of people, it's perfect for us.

To quote Trent Reznor, you can find Happiness in Slavery...

Friday, March 11, 2011

No relief

After a rather extreme night of strap-on play Wednesday night, and by extreme I mean I was getting fucked so hard by Miss H that the dildo literally snapped out of the harness and flew halfway across the room, I woke up Thursday morning to the delightful sound of my phone's alarm going off around 5:30am. Ah, the joys of getting up early for work. Still in a sleep induced daze I rolled over on my side to look at Miss H. She looked beautiful, her large breasts straining to be kept under wraps by the tight pvc tube top she had worn to bed.

She moaned softly as I took her left nipple between my fingers and began gently playing with it. Now some people may consider it disrespectful to touch your Mistress without permission but when it comes to her nipples, Miss H has given me free reign at any time to make her feel good by licking, squeezing, or sucking on them. They seem to have a direct line to her clit and with the slightest touch she'll almost instantly get wet. As I was saying though, I toyed with her nipples for a few minutes, secretly hoping that she would become aroused enough to perhaps stroke my cock or, fingers crossed, allow me to be inside her.

Thankfully I was allowed to remove my cock cage the previous night so I laid next to her in bed with a raging hard on that was dripping into a small puddle on the sheets. Did I happen to mention that I was also wearing a shiny silver, micro mini club dress, cute white stockings with bows in the back, and a pair of "fuck me" pink ankle strap 6" stilettos? So as I sat there, desperate and horny for any type of sexual release or even physical contact, Mistress seemed more focused on her nipple stimulation then even the tiniest thought of my pleasure. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and humbly asked her for permission to masturbate. To my surprise she said yes so I quickly took hold of my cock and began furiously stroking it while my face was buried between her breasts, alternating between each nipple as I sucked them deep within my mouth. 

Damn it. My alarm went off again. By now I knew that if I wasn't up like this exact second I was probably going to be late for work. Miss H knew it too so she ushered me out of bed so I could take a shower. Now Miss H has a rule, if she allows me to masturbate at any time, I'm to kiss her feet and say out loud to her "Mistress, thank you for allowing your little sissy fag slave to rub your cock for you." Not wanting to get in trouble I did what I was supposed to on my way to the bathroom. Of course a quick kiss on the feet soon turned into a much longer period of licking and sucking her freshly painted toes.

By the time I was done I glanced over at the clock and saw that I now had officially 15 minutes to shower, change, eat breakfast, and get my stuff together for work. I stood up from my place on the floor and was about to finally take my shower when Miss H calmly told me to place her cock on her feet. Apprehensive about the time, I quickly did it. Her feet were still slightly wet from all the licking and sucking I had just done so my cock slid effortlessly along the long arches of her soles. I moaned slightly as my still hard cock dripped pre-cum on top of her sexy feet. "Get some lube and rub it between my feet. You have twenty seconds." She knew I was already running late but she didn't care one bit (I totally love the fact that she doesn't seem to give two shits about me some times). I hurriedly did as she ordered, rubbing wet platinum between her feet as she closed them tightly together. Mistress didn't need to tell me what she wanted me to do next, I instinctively pushed my dick between her feet and started pumping away. The feeling was incredible and my long suffering cock couldn't go more then four pumps before I had to stop to prevent myself from cumming.

This went on over and over again. Each time getting right to the edge of cumming only to stop so as not to anger my Mistress. I was begging for permission, each time getting more and more desperate, offering up any humiliating punishment I could think of as a way to bribe her into allowing me to cum. When I was at my breaking, delirious with desire and overcome with an almost unbearable level of sexual frustration, Miss H calmly, and almost mechanically separated her feet, rolled over in bed and said one word, "go." I stood up in a mental fog, my cock pulsing, my brain spinning from unfulfilled lust, my body literally shaking.

As I closed the bathroom door behind me, I thought to myself that this was going to be my life from here on out. The life I had always wanted....

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Ass whore pt.. 2

This is kind of a follow up to the post I did a few days ago about the strap-on play Miss H and I have been engaging in recently. After our last ass fucking session something occurred to me, something that's probably obvious to most people but was kind of an "ah-ha" moment for me. Cock size matters.

It's one of those things that some people downplay, others joke about, and some people can't live without. It's something I've never paid much attention to because I consider myself just around the average size and never seemed to have a problem. It wasn't until a few weeks ago when Miss H made me use the rubber cock sheath to fuck her (basically it's a hollow dildo that attaches to your penis) that things became crystal clear. Although the sheath itself was only 6.5", when I added it on top of my cock it made a total of roughly 7-8". Once I had it inside of her she made noises that I've never heard her make before.

Deep, passionate noises that were accompanied with facial expressions of sheer joy. She tried to play it off as not pleasure but instead slight pain and that's why she was making noise. What she couldn't explain was why then it took over five minutes of rough fucking before she finally ordered me to stop and worship her pussy with my mouth. Maybe it wasn't the size but the length of time and intensity I could go with the cock sheath on (being in chastity and constantly edged has me on a hair trigger) that was the real reason. Maybe she just didn't want to hurt my feelings. Who knows.

Fast forward to the other day, where as I mentioned we had used the strap-on again, I was in a state of bliss after the pounding my pussy had taken. The more I get fucked like that, the more I seemed to enjoy it. I just couldn't get over the feeling of wanting more however. While the dildo Miss H used was 7" and wide, I still felt like I was missing out on something. Each stroke felt fabulous, but I kept wishing that maybe that cock was just a little longer and just a little thicker. That I could feel it that much deeper. That I could I feel it spread me open that much wider.

I've started checking around for a 2nd dildo for Mistress to use with the strap-on and I think I've found one I like on Amazon, a 9" pink cock that should hopefully fill me up in the way I need.

Looks like this little sissy whore is becoming a bit of a size queen....

Monday, March 7, 2011


Not so long ago I discovered the magic that is Tumblr. It's supposed to be a photo/multimedia blogging type deal but basically I find it to be an absolutely wonderful, non-stop stream of free porn images. I've started one of my own with the idea of sharing pics that get me off with like minded people. I post/repost all types of images but the main themes generally run along the lines of bondage, fetish, latex, sissy, cuckold, strap-on's, chastity, etc. You know, the stuff you're probably into if you're reading this blog ;) Anyway, please feel free to check it out at and as always, I'd love to hear your feedback.



Friday, March 4, 2011

Ass whore

I love things in my ass. Always have, always will. It started with a finger, moved to a butt plug, then an inflatable butt plug, progressed from there to a small dildo, and currently I'm absolutely in love with Miss H's big strap-on dildo. We've used it numerous times since we bought it a few weeks ago and it has quickly become one of my favorite rewards. Mistress may not let me cum, but she's more then eager to ram 7 inches of pink rubber cock deep into my "pussy".

We of course started out rather slowly and cautiously the first time we used it but now we fuck with intensity and reckless abandon. She'll start by slowing pushing the tip of the dildo inside me, being ever so gentle. Then once she's let me feel the entire length of it filling me up, she'll push my legs apart and mercilessly slam in to me over and over again. I literally have to push back against the headboard with my hands or else she'd probably end up sending me flying off the bed.

I still haven't figured out which position is my favorite yet. I love being on my back so I can watch her hold my legs open and fuck me, but at the same time being on all hours allows for such deep penetration which drives me wild. Being on top is pretty good too and has the benefit of providing me with a rather unique experience.

Cumming by ass fucking alone, without anything touching my little "clit".

I've read articles about prostate milking, etc and while they talk alot about how a Dom can milk their submissive by rubbing the male prostate and thus releasing a slow and steady amount of cum. It was rare to read anything about having a full, cock spraying, fountain of cum by doing so. Now notice I said I came, I didn't say I really orgasmed.

I was riding on top of Miss H and it was very enjoyable, about half way through I sort of leaned down a bit and changed the angle of her strap-on going inside of me. This wasn't on purpose, just repositioning to make my knees feel more comfortable. After a few strokes like this I started to feel a weird sensation kind of behind the base of my cock. It felt the same as when on occasion I had pushed a toy in very deep inside me. This time though it was more of a steady sensation then a one time thing. I honestly thought at first like maybe I was going to pee or something because at that particular point my clit was soft and I was just enjoying the ride on top of the dildo.

A few seconds later I felt a rather week feeling of cumming and looked down to see a huge puddle of cum flooding across Miss H's stomach. We both kind of looked at each other in shock and I rolled off of her, both of us smiling ear to ear. It was definitely something new for each of us. I never felt that kind of building pressure in my cock followed by an orgasm and release the way I would if I were just masturbating or having regular sex. Instead it was more of a pleasurable sensation followed by ejaculation with little if any orgasm involved. While it was nice, it had all the drawbacks of cumming (feeling instantly out of the mood for anything else sexual) and none of the bonuses (experiencing the pleasure of a full orgasm). Which actually puts it even behind a standard ruined orgasm on the pleasure scale.