Saturday, December 21, 2013

About my Kik...

Hi, for anyone whose tried to message me recently on kik (my username is subslutchristie if you're interested), I have to apologize, I've just been crazy busy with Christmas stuff and been unable to reply. It's nothing personal, I love talking with new people, just haven't had the free time I'd like to really get on and use it. I'm working on it though and things should be back to normal soon. Thanks!

Monday, December 2, 2013

Diapers and Ballet boots

Miss H and I were in the mood to take a few photos, ok, more then a few, I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, but here's a few of the ones I like the best. Enough talk, lets get to the pics -

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Sissy on the Vegas strip.

On one of our last nights in Las Vegas we were arriving back in our hotel room and Miss H was tired after a long day of seeing the sights. She wanted to just chill out and relax, but I was still kind of wired up and staying in our room while the strip was buzzing just outside our window didn't seem like an option I wanted to explore. I asked Miss H if she would mind if I headed out for a while so I could walk up the north end of the strip and check a few things out. As lame as it may sound I kind of wanted to check out the volcano show in front of the Mirage, and perhaps stroll through the Flamingo casino for their "Party Pit" (basically just an excuse to have hot chicks in lingerie, etc dance in the casino while people gambled at the table games).

"I don't mind at all", she said as I was getting ready. "Just don't forget to put on that pink dress first though", she mentioned, as if it was no big deal. I was kind of shocked and thought she was just kidding. "No really, get out that pink dress", she said once again. I immediately went into whiny bitch mode, which I tend to due at supersonic speed when she says something I don't initially like, and started huffing and hawing. "It's too crowded, there too many people out there, they're all going to stare at me, especially if I'm not even wearing any makeup and a wig!", I howled in terror.

This was met with a long, and extremely annoyed sigh and eye roll. "Put on the dress, and garters, you can wear a pair of shorts and that white shirt you've got on over top of it".  "Yes, Mistress", was all I could muster and began doing as she asked. "Keep it up and I'll make you wear a pair of heels too", she snapped. I don't think she would actually make me go through with it, but I wasn't entirely sure so I figured why chance it, so I finished getting dressed, a little worried that people would notice the pink from the dress beneath my shirt.

After a kiss goodbye, I headed toward the elevator and then out on to the strip. Considering it was around 10pm, I was on the Vegas strip, and there were people in costumes, drunk slutty chicks, and general craziness at every turn, I don't know why I felt people were staring at me, but I did ;) After a short walk I made it down to the Mirage and waited in front of the volcano for the show to start. While I waited I got several txt's from Miss H making fun of me, which only served to make me even hornier then I already was.

The show itself was short but not bad.

I walked the strip for a while after that and eventually found myself at the Flamingo's Party Pit.

By this point I'm crazy horny and haven't cummed in who knows how long. I had to pee so I headed off for the closest bathroom. I picked an empty stall near the back because I wanted to send a couple of pics to Miss H and this would provide the necessary privacy. This was the first pic I took and sent her.

Miss H quickly replied with some dirty, degrading txt's which instantly got me hard and we started sexting back and forth. It wasn't long before I was stroking myself, so turned on by wearing the dress and garters while the sound of strange men walking all around just a few feet away from me. 

It was so humiliating and exhilarating at the same time. I kept edging myself over and over again for a while, until I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to "cheat" and actually cum so I quickly pulled my shorts up and left, stopping myself before I could jerk off to completion and feel the sweet release of an orgasm that I had been denied from for so long.

I got back to our room shortly after and Miss H acted like nothing had happened at all. Damn, she's incredible ;)

Sunday, November 10, 2013

A sissy in Sin City part 2

Our next day in Vegas consisted of, among other things, a trip to the Erotic Heritage Museum which I had a Groupon for. The museum was off the strip, in the downtown area. We go there right when they opened and it wasn't crowded at all which was good because it gave us time to explore by ourselves.

The museum itself is actually very cool and quite interesting, with tons of displays and exhibits. Both Miss H and I really enjoyed it and totally recommend it. It only takes an hour or so to go through so it's the perfect quick trip idea.

One of the things that was really cool was, of all things, the bathroom. When we first got to the museum the guy at the desk mentioned there were several bathrooms and that we should definitely stop at the one near the Hustler exhibit. He said don't forget to grab a marker and sign it when you get there. I really didn't pay much attention to it until we walked in.

Just like he said, there was a cup filled with different colored markers right outside the door and people were leaving a never ending assortment of signatures, comments, and everything else. Miss H signed for us then went over and pushed the bathroom door closed behind me. "It seems kind of appropriate since we're here, don't you think?", she said as she lowered her jeans and bent over the sink. "Now get over here and lick my asshole, sissy", she commanded. I eagerly dove to my knees and spread her ass cheeks with my hands as I pushed my tongue into her ass. 

Worshiping Miss H's ass is one of my favorite things in the world and to be given the chance to do it in a public setting like this was amazing. I tongued and licked like a madman, desperate to get as far as I could inside her. I was already hard from viewing the other exhibits earlier, and this only made me more so. I felt a slight tingle in my panties and a feeling of wetness but didn't think much of it and kept going at Miss H's ass with abondan. I assumed I was just getting turned on and leaking pre-cum everywhere. Miss H let go of the back of my head and pushed me away. "Ok, that's enough for now", she said as we both got up and started to pull ourselves back together. 

I looked down and started to see a small spot of wetness by the crotch area of my shorts. They were a light tan so they tended to leak through when I had a lot of pre-cum in my panties. As I pulled the shorts out flat though I literally gasped, the whole front crotch of my shorts were soaked. I tend to have a lot of pre-cum but this was insane. I had a wet spot at least three inches wide, smack dab in the middle of my shorts. I quickly stuck my hand in my panties and was horrified by what I felt, a huge load of watery cum. It wasn't as thick as it normally is when I cum, but there was copious amounts everywhere. I grabbed a paper towel and tried to get as much of it out as I could but the damage was done.

Now being in chastity and continually teased and denied, Miss H and I have clearly seen a big decline in my sexual stamina, but that was a first. I felt like Jim from American Pie where he cums so quick with that hot chick.


Not only did I not even receive any pleasure from this super fast premature ejaculation, I barely felt it happening in the first place. Miss H didn't seem to upset, if anything she was enjoying my humiliation and freak out that people might see me like this. She let out a chuckle and then simply went back to looking at some of the exhibits. I on the other hand tried everything I could think of to clean up/hide/not die from embarrassment. I mean if it happens in the food store people might think you just spilled something on yourself, but at a sex museum full of porn and sex toys? That draws an entirely different conclusion.

Well, I guess you add that to those Vegas memories that we'll never forget...


Saturday, November 9, 2013

A sissy in Sin City.

Our first night in Vegas was kind of subdued, after a long flight, and treking through McCarran airport and the rental car facility, we were kind of tired so we checked in to our room and took it easy. We settled in, got something to eat, took a walk around the casino and basically just tried to soak in the whole atmosphere of Las Vegas. The next day we hit the strip to check out some of the other casino's and sites and even stopped at a gun range to shoot some fully automatic weapons. Miss H actually got a pink camouflaged rifle, which I have to say made me a little jealous, but overall it was a great day.

We returned to our room later that night and Miss H decided she wanted to take a relaxing bath and chill out for a while. Our room was a suite at the Luxor and therefore had a huge tub right by the window. While it wasn't a strip view, more of a back view of the mountains and pool, the room itself was very nice. When I first told Miss H about the room and was in he process of booking it I mentioned all the amenities to Miss H and she loved it. What I didn't tell her was while I knew she would enjoy the tub, I also picked it because I had my own reasons for wanting a nice large bathtub.

As she was getting out of the tub that night and drying off, she allowed me to masturbate to her naked and completely gorgeous body.

I was so turned on and excited but was still kind of nervous to ask her something so I just sat there jerking off furiously as she watched me with a mix of amusement and disdain in her eyes. Being so excited to finally being able to touch myself again, I blurted out " please Mistress can you piss on me?" in a sad little, desperate voice. I was immediately overcome with shame and embarrassment but I couldn't help it, I  was horny, she was naked, and the tub was perfect. 

She said something, I don't even remember exactly what it was, but it was a positive and she motioned me toward the tub. I quickly got up and practically sprinted over there. I placed several towels near the side of the tub for her use if she needed them and then proceeded to lay down on my back. The seats in the tub provided a great place for Miss H to stand over me. I was in awe of her sexy physique as she towered above me, her thighs spread wide and her pussy aimed directly at me. 

I noticed myself shivering, it wasn't because the tub was cold, but because of the sheer power and sense of dominance Miss H exuded as she towered above. She was totally in control of things and it totally put me into my submissive place. We had tried once before for me to recieve a golden shower from Miss H and while it was nice, the cramped conditions of our bathroom at home and the general first time nervousness of the situation made for a bit of an uneasy time.

This, was totally different, Miss H was in charge and I could see she felt it. There was no hesitation, no nervous laughter, just her standing above my naked, trembling body. "Are you ready, bitch?", she said as an after thought, a stream of her hot piss cascading down upon my chest. It was warm and it felt so good as it splashed across my chest and body, spraying over my cock as I furiously jerked off. She didn't say much, the smile on her face did all the talking for her.

After that initial spray I sat up and began to lick her, my tongue running over her clit as I could taste her piss, still softly dripping out of her. She took a minute to enjoy my tongue before pushing my head back slightly and steadying herself on the side of the tub. I knew what was coming next so I opened my mouth wide as I continued to jerk off like a total bitch in heat. 

The first little bit dribbled out of her before quickly becoming a flood as she was now peeing in and all over my mouth and face. I tried swallowing as much as I could but there was just so much and she was purposely spraying it all over my face, at one point pushing my head between her legs so she could piss down all over my head, her pee running down my face and pooling in the bottom of the tub. She was done all to soon however and I desperately lapped up every last drop from her pussy, crazing more of her warm liquids. I was allowed to lick her for another minute or so before she stepped out to clean off and finish getting dressed. I lay there in a pool of her piss, covered from head to toe in her spray, totally humiliated and at the same time horny as I'd ever been, "maybe again tomorrow night?" I said sheepishly.

She looked back and just smiled with an evil grin. 

This was going to be a vacation to remember.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Back from Vegas.

I had pretty high hopes for our trip to Vegas and it was, in a word, amazing. With out a doubt, the very best vacation/trip I've ever been on. It was both Miss H and I's first trip out there and although we were there for a week, it felt like time was running in fast forward. We've been back about a week now and I'm only just starting to feel like things are starting to return to normal, getting back into the daily grind of life and work, is a hard adjustment after the non-stop fun and excitement of Las Vegas. The suitcases have all been unloaded and put away, the pictures posted on Facebook, and the beautiful memories safely secured for reminiscing down the road, so it seemed like it was high time to get back to blogging again.

Miss H and I brought a number of various toys and outfits with us on our trip even though we weren't exactly sure how much "Mistress & sissy" time we were going to have. I brought several outfits, a couple things of lingerie, some shoes, a few sex toys (butt plug, ball gag, etc), diapers, and related items. I meant to get a pick, but I was so busy packing that it slipped my mind.  Suffice to say, when you're packing for "two", your male self and your sissy self, the amount of free space fills up quickly. I can only imagine what the airport screeners must have thought when my luggage went through.

I'm not totally sure of what all Miss H brought, I spied a few fun little items but because most of our time was spent doing the regular touristy Vegas stuff, I didn't get to experience everything she may have had planned. That's not to say we didn't get into some kinky fun, because we most certainly did, and I'll be posting all about it over the next few blog posts, but the sheer energy and thrill of Vegas kind of sweeps you up and keeps you pretty busy on it's own.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Vegas bound

Miss H and I are leaving for a week long vacation in Las Vegas starting this weekend so new blog posts are probably going to be on hold for a short while until we get back. With any luck I should have all sorts of fun new things to write about when we get return...


Monday, October 7, 2013

Locking diaper update

About a week ago I was blogging about my new locking, spreading diaper cover. (You can read it here if you'd like). Since then I've taken it for a few test drives and all I can say is, wow. Just wow. It's one of my favorite new play items and I just can't get enough of it. I'd wear it all the time if "regular" life didn't prevent me from doing so. I did go to Lowes and get a length of chain to feed through the belt loops to make it fully locking, but haven't tried that aspect of it out yet. So far, taking it off is about the last thing in the world I want to do though. I'm sure however that Miss H probably has an idea or two about that and in the right scenario, being locked in there isn't going to be a lot of fun.

On to the pics -

These first two are just wearing it plain and then wearing in underneath a dress, you can clearly see how much crazy extra bulk it adds. These next two pics are with the addition of some nice lingerie and shoes. 

This diaper cover is such a perfect tool of exquisitely painful humiliation. A normal diaper is one thing, but the sheer size and ridiculousness of this thing just screams "sissy loser", so the minute I put it on my confidence/comfort level goes down astronomically. The way Miss H smirks or shakes her head when she sees me in it just cuts me to the core and I want to crawl into a hole and die. Miss H is pretty neutral about the whole diaper thing but I think she definitely gets off in some small way in watching just how bad I squirm in embarrassment when I'm near her while wearing it. It's ability to just totally torpedo any smart ass attitude or talking back is near instantaneous. 

Friday, October 4, 2013

Corset training.

I always seem to be stumbling upon some new kinky fetish that suddenly piques my interest and before long becomes a mainstay in what gets me off. Diapers, piss play, strap-ons, extreme humiliation, all began as a "hmm, that sounds kind of interesting", and now are engrained fantasies in my sick little twisted mind. My newest curiosity is corsets and corset training. I've always loved the look of a corset on a woman, how it accentuates her natural curves, making everything more pronounced, and generally just sexy as hell looking. I've always prefered the corset in black and always shiny, either pvc or leather because they further instill the look of a hard, dominant Mistress.

I never really thought much of wearing one myself which may seem odd, because I tend to spend an inordinate amount of time imagining myself in just about every type of female clothing you can think of. Well a few weeks ago I was browsing Amazon looking for some new pink lingerie when I happened to notice their suggestions for other similar products, one of which was a corset. Intrigued, I clicked on the link and started checking it out. Then checking out other corsets in other materials and designs. Before long I was hooked and knew that I really wanted to get one.

While I think I'll enjoy the way it will look on me, a big part of why I want to get one is more for the bondage/humiliation aspect then because of fashion. The idea of being tied in super tight to a restrictive corset is a huge turn on, the feeling of confinement and enclosure makes me all excited just thinking about it. Every movement becomes a subtle reminder of wearing it as it presses and holds you tight. That also kind of ties into the humiliation aspect, being made to wear it under my regular work clothes, knowing that Miss H is making me wear it, scared that a coworker might find out. The pain and discomfort of it laced in to the max, never letting me forget what I endure for her.

Damn, I really need to get a corset. Fast.

So as I was saying earlier, I've always like the black, dominant corsets but unfortunately, I'm a sissy and that probably wouldn't look right on me now would it. Instead I thought pink or white would be better, much more girly and submissive to match my personality. A good pink one was hard to find either on Amazon or anywhere else. They were always either the wrong material, wrong cut, way to expensive, or not a true corset with steel boning, etc. A white corset was much easier to find so I think I'm going to go with one that looks almost exactly like this.

It's about $100 and it's made of a satin and has full metal boning in it and is supposed to shrink your waist up to 6-7" with practice and proper training. I think it's going to look great with some white lingerie and shoes tucked beneath my pink satin sissy dress with full crinoline. The only decision is, do I buy it now or wait till Christmas and hope Santa brings it.

P.S. If anyone has any experience with corsets and corset training please feel free to drop me a line, I'm always up for getting advice or suggestions, thanks!


Sunday, September 29, 2013

My latest diaper humiliation.

A few years ago I was on eBay seemingly 24/7 buying stuff, mainly of the kinky/cross dressing persuasion, and it was a lot of fun and a great way to get items that weren't easy to buy locally or that I wasn't willing to buy in person. For what ever reason my eBay use kind of trickled off until I had forgotten my login information and basically just let that account wither away and die. All of a sudden though I happen to be browsing the app store on my phone and saw an updated version of the eBay app had been released. Strictly out of curiosity I downloaded it and started browsing around.

Before long, and with the help of some specific keywords, I found a *lot* of new items I wanted to get. While my watchlist is about a mile long, one certain item I couldn't let wait and bought right on the spot. It's called a lockable PVC spreading diaper cover. Basically, it's like a standard pair of plastic diaper panties, it's meant to go on top of a diaper and provide extra leak protection and also a little extra humiliation. I already have a pink pair and they work great, but this one is different for several reasons -

1) It has belt loops around the top which allow you to run a chain through it and attach a lock to prevent the person from removing it and the diaper underneath. Obviously, a sharp knife or pair of scissors would allow you to cut it off and remove the diaper, but in the process you'd have destroyed a $50 fetish item and who ever locked you in there would be able to tell you've "escaped". Thus potentially getting you in more trouble then it's worth to remove it.

2) It has a huge, and I mean huge, length of padding sewn in to the interior running between the legs from front to back. This causes a noticeable waddle when you walk and adds a gigantic amount of girth to the diaper panties. If you like the super padded and thick diaper look (which I really do) then this thing is amazing. I already use several diapers at a time just to get the super full look, but when you add this in to the mix the results are extreme. There's no way to disguise the huge bulk this thing adds, I've worn diapers under my clothes numerous times but with this spreading diaper cover, it would be impossible to not be noticed ( or even fit in my clothes for that matter).

To see the listing for this thing, you can check it out here.  DISCLAIMER - I am in no way affiliated with the seller and recieve no compensation in any form for people that do/do not buy this item. I'm just a happy customer and thrilled with their product. They're located in Hungary so the shipping isn't cheap, but for such a one of a kind item, I think it's totally worth it.

Mine came in a few weeks ago and I'm absolutely in love with it. It took under two weeks to arrive and I was mega excited when I saw the box sitting on my doorstep when I got home from work.

It kind of looks a bit peach colored in this picture but trust me, it's a nice, totally humiliating sissy pink color, all in glorious PVC. The fit is perfect and stretches to fit over even a few diapers and inserts at one time. I've only worn it once so far but it was awesome, not uncomfortable to wear even over night, yet so bulky that you could never forget your were wearing it, especially when walking. Can't wait to wear it more often. I'll try to post more pics in my next blog update.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Sissy Socks

I have a *lot* of different clothes I have stocked away for when Miss H and I play. So many in fact that its kind of like Christmas when I pull out certain boxes because I find all sorts of new fun things to wear that I totally forgot I even had. These pink socks are a perfect example of that. I don't even remember buying them but when I found them I was thrilled, they're just so girly and slutty. Hope you like looking at them as much as I like wearing them...

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Kik messenger

I normally consider myself pretty tech savvy, I like to keep up with the newest and the greatest whether it be phones or software, but I'm totally behind the times when it comes to SnapChat and Kik messenger. I've heard of them before, usually when people are talking about what the "hot new thing" is but never really paid much attention to them. I read an article about how teens and early 20's are shifting from Facebook to SnapChat and Kik because all the "old" people are still living on FB.

Fast forward to today, I'm on Twitter this morning and I must have gotten like 4 separate messages from people asking for my Kik username or if I was interested in chatting through Kik. That was the breaking point so I finally downloaded it. If you're interested in getting in touch through there, my username is subslutchristie. I can't promise how much I'll be using it, but what the hell, I'm going to give it a try. I'm now running with the cool kids again. Rock on.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Sissy's penis pump fun.

A few blog entries ago I posted a bunch of pics of a day I had off and was allowed to dress and play by Miss H. I only posted a handful of them and meant to post the rest over the next few days. That didn't quite happen because I totally forgot, I tend to do that a lot, so today seemed like a good day to try and catch up with some pics.

These particular pics all involve a penis pump. A sex toy I bought kind of as a joke and kind of because I wanted to try it. Now I realize that these things don't actually enlarge your cock but I have read that they're fun to play around with, and that I can attest too is true. The one I bought was like $10 but even it can provide a unique sensation when pumped up and the vacuum effect starts gripping your penis.

By itself it's not the best masturbation tool if cumming is your desired goal. While it feels nice and you can quickly pump it up and deflate it over and over again to try and orgasm, I've find it's much more effective in an orgasm denial type sense. I'll edge myself over and over again till I'm just dying to cum, to the point where I'm super sensitive and have to be really careful even touching myself for fear of cumming. That's when I'll give myself a minute or two to calm down and relax. Then I push my little cock into the pump and give it a few squeezes. It provides just enough sensation to feel really good and take me to the brink but not enough to make me squirt.

One to two pumps is usually enough, three is often times just pushing it and will result in an "accident". Even if I take a while between pumps I stay hard, mainly because I'm a horny little deviant, but also because the pressure inside helps maintain an erection. So when I want to torture myself I'll put on a porn video I like and after I'm inside the penis pump, just occasionally pump it up and release for a while. The limited pleasure from the pump being no match for the insane level of horniness I'm feeling inside and therefore driving me wild with frustration.

If that wasn't enough, as a final evil twist, the penis pump is a wonderful way to give yourself an absolutely wonderful (or horrible depending on your point of view) ruined orgasm. Pump it up slowly so you get just enough stimulation to reach the edge then squeeze one last time. The pressure inside the pump is *just* enough to push you over the top but because there's absolutely no more stimulation the orgasm is virtually destroyed and you simply spill slowly down the side of your cock, filling up the bottom of the pump, your head suddenly filled with shame as you look down to see yourself dressed like a whore, your cock stuck inside a cheap plastic tube filled with your sissy cum, as you try to somehow gracefully pull it off of yourself, get cleaned up, and try to forget that this is the man you've become.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Fear, turn on, or both?

I personally don't spend all that much time on YouTube but every now and then I skim though and see if I can find anything interesting. I happened to be looking for sissy videos, what a surprise, and found a video called "Sissy Maid dress leaving hotel and getting in taxi" which you can watch yourself  here. The title pretty much says it all, there's no nudity or anything overly sexual about it but I couldn't take my eyes off of it. It was like watching a car crash, I couldn't look away no matter how much I wanted to.

A guy totally made up and wearing a pink sissy dress and heels simply leaves his hotel room and with video camera rolling travels down to the ground floor of the hotel, goes outside and catches a cab.  There's nothing wrong with the guy but he's obviously not trying to hide the fact of what's going on. It's one thing to dress in some nice subdued business casual type womens wear, quite another to wear a pure sissy outfit that is designed specifically to get people's attention.

The minute he opens his room door my heart starts racing because I can totally see myself in his cute little shoes (and have done things very similar in the past). He seems so calm in the video but I'm starting to freak out just watching this. My biggest fear is people making fun of me and thinking I'm a loser or something yet at the same time sexual humiliation is one of my biggest turn ons so these polar opposites have a tendency to mess with me emotionally.

Anyway, so I'm equal parts getting ready to go into a panic attack and dripping precum all inside my panties while the video plays on. Before long the empty hallways and elevators lead to a suddenly crowded hotel lobby and I can suddenly feel myself breathing much quicker, in short little bursts, as my body tenses up even more. You can hear people in the crowd say things but the guy keeps strutting on without missing a beat. I don't know why I'm getting so anxious but I cant help it and my cock is rock hard and twitching away as the video ends. It was a weird rush but the combination of terror and turn on was a winner and I wanted more. A few clicks later and found this one and especially this one which had my stomach in knots as a different sissy goes shopping.

Miss H knows I get off on public humiliation and just about any other type of humiliation for that matter, so when I sent her the link to the video she was quick to tease and threaten me about it. We're going to Vegas in October and she mentioned that it might be fun to try something like that and make our own video while we're there. Who knows if she'll actually go through with it, but I can already feel my blood pressure ticking upwards.

Friday, August 30, 2013

A maid for the maid?

When Miss H and I first started discussing engaging in a Female Led Relationship, one of the things that really excited me was the thought that I would truly be the submissive and lower ranking member of the relationship, not just in a sexual manner but in just about every aspect. For instance we talked about how I would take a much more service oriented/slave role to Miss H in terms of things like doing the housework, running errands for her, pampering her, etc. This seemed like it would be a win/win for both of us. Miss H is busy with a ton of things and doesn't have time to take care of a lot of the day to day activities like doing the dishes that have to be done in order to keep a household running. I on the other hand usually have a bit more flexible schedule and free time so it would be much easier for me. Not only that, being her maid had a bunch of other "perks" for me as well.

From a sexual stand point, doing what ever it is that Miss H commands really helps put me in the submissive, attentive mindset that she enjoys. With a "honey, could you do the laundry when you get a chance?", I feel like I have a say in the matter and that we're kind of on the same level. When it's "Sissy, make sure the laundry is done by the time I get home. No excuses", then I immediately know what I have to do and there isn't any other choice. It just really reenforces her superior status above me and keeps everything running smoothly in our relationship. There's no anger that I'm being lazy, or not pulling my fair share, she says what she wants done and I happily do it. Perfect, huh?

The problem is, and to be honest it's not a problem, but more of an observation, problem is probably a misstatement, but the issue is that I feel like Miss H doesn't really take advantage of what she has available to her. Let me explain, this week I've had a lot of extra time off from work so I told Miss H I was planning on doing a lot around the house so if there was anything she needed to just let me know. She didn't have much, which was fine, so I took care of it then did some other chores around the house. Today I was off again and she mentioned that she had some prescriptions to pickup from Walgreens that I could pick up if I had time (and to txt her if I couldn't so she could on her way home from work) and that if I was going to a certain farm market near our house to get her some of this special chicken salad she liked, but only if I felt like getting it.

I appreciate the fact that she was being considerate (Miss H's personality type is a real pleaser and non confrontational if at all possible), but in the back of my mind I'm thinking we just got back in the swing of the FLR so why not take advantage of it? If you want certain things done, tell me what you want and I'll take care of it. If I told her I had bought her the services of a personal assistant for a month, would she be so reluctant to use him/her for what they were supposed to do?

I realize it sounds like I'm complaining and trying to top from the bottom, but in reality I feel like I'm just trying to let her know what she has. It's like I bought her a 60" 3D HDTV and she's perfectly content watching an old black and white movie over standard cable. I'm not telling her what to watch, just showing her what features she can choose to use if she would like ;)

Also, it might seem odd to post this here instead of just talking with her one on one but for some reason it's hard to bring up stuff like this in person. I never seem to get my point across properly so writing it down helps me keep things in order and more coherent. Plus posting it to the blog helps in another manner, if I am acting like a dick or 100% right about about certain things I usually get comments or messages clearly telling me one way or the other, which is a nice way to get an unbiased, outsiders opinion on things.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

A day off equals a day of fun.

Today was an unexpected day off for me which was a pleasant surprise. This time last week I figured I'd be trudging away at work, patiently counting the minutes till Friday night so Miss H and I could have a night together. Luck worked in my favor though and here I was with a whole day off to myself. Miss H knew I would be out running errands this morning so when I got this text message I figured something was up -

"Let me know when you get home".

I got back from my final trip of the day, a stop at Target, and texted her I was home.

"I just sent you an email", was her followup.

I zipped onto my laptop and read her message. It wasn't long, just about five bullet points, but it basically said that I needed to get dressed in an outfit of my choice, with makeup, wig, etc and that I was allowed to masturbate for a total of 90 minutes broken up any way I wanted till 3pm. I was also to finish up any of the indoor chores that I had already been planning on doing, just now they would be done while en femme.

Its been a while since I did my own makeup so I wasn't really pleased with the results, hence no full body/face shots, but I've posted a few pics of the start of the morning. It's about 1:30pm EST as I write this so I have time to get into some other naughty things before I have to get changed back at 3pm, so you'll have to excuse me. I'll try to post the rest of the pics tomorrow or the day after.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

So I think I just milked myself.

Ok, here's the situation, I was off of work today because we were having a guy come out to look at our water heater. He wasn't coming till at least noon so Miss H wanted me dressed in some nice panties, a bra, and a butt plug. Here's what that looked like -

I was allowed to masturbate but obviously not to cum. So after an extended period of edging myself over and over I decided to finally put the plug in. It took a minute to go in even with plenty of lube because its been a while since there has been anything in my ass (guess I need some more practice/training...). Once it was in I just groaned, it felt so good to be filled up and plugged again. My cock was already hard and twitching from playing with it earlier but it seemed to get even stiffer with the plug in. I knew better then to touch my little cock when I had a plug in because that would virtually guarantee an accident and I would end up cumming all over the place.

I wanted to be gentle so instead of fucking myself with the plug in and out like it was a dildo, I merely pushed on the base softly and in sort of a clockwise motion for maybe 20-30 seconds without touching myself at all.

 Then it happened.

Something I had never fully experienced before. I felt a soft flow of liquid out of my penis and into the sink I was standing in front of. It had the consistency of pre-cum but was slightly cloudier. I know what some people might be thinking, it was nothing more then a minor orgasm or ruined orgasm, but that wasn't it at all. I've had "accidents" where I've cum while trying to hold it in and plenty of ruined orgasms and this was different. There were no muscle contractions or feelings of forcefully ejecting anything. It just sort of spilled out on it's own. There were none of the usual stages, the build up, the feeling of being about to cum, the relaxation after ejaculating, none of that. 

Furthermore there was definitely one other major difference, as soon as I was done there was absolutely no post orgasm crash. Normally the minute I cum I want jump out of what ever outfit I'm wearing and watch ESPN or mow the lawn, or anything else to avoid the shame and embarrassment of thinking about whatever kinky, sissy thing I had just moments before been enjoying so much. This time, nothing changed at all. If anything I felt hornier.I guess that even though I hadn't been trying to, I had managed to massage my prostate enough to milk it into releasing some of the excess seminal fluid that had been building up into a massive reservoir inside me thanks to all the edgings without orgasm or ejaculation.

Now who knows if I'll ever be able to do it again, it just might have been one of those things were the stars were aligned correctly and luck was in the air, but it was a real eye opener this morning. Makes me wonder if I should try one of those prostate massager toys or maybe not give up so quick on cumming/getting milked when I'm being fucked by a dildo. Only time will tell.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Like night and day.

As I mentioned in my previous blog post this past Friday night was our first toe dip back into that great big pool of kink. It started like most of our kinky nights go, relaxing in the bedroom having a drink or two of our favorite adult beverages while watching some TV before the action starts to heat up. I don't know about Miss H, but I was much more calm about things then I expected to be after having such a huge amount of sexual downtime. I was by no means relaxed but I wasn't freaking out like I thought I might. Even when Miss H told me to get dressed it wasn't an overly big deal, sure I cringed a bit while standing naked before her as she watched me put on the garter belt and stockings, but it was manageable.

Then all of a sudden things just clicked and it felt so normal, so right, once more. We were back on track again and I could feel our proper roles sliding back into where they should be. Miss H wasn't overly demanding or cruel (which I kind of missed) but she had a renewed air about her, like the captain of a ship back at the helm and in control.

We cuddled, she allowed me to be inside of her for a while, without being allowed to cum of course, and I eagerly licked her pussy like a maniac. It was really awesome, a new beginning if you will, I know it sounds overly dramatic but our FLR plays such a *HUGE* part of keeping things running smoothly in our relationship. It provides the answer to so many needs and wants we both have, and I'm glad it's back.

Here's a few pics from when we were done and Miss H diapered me up for bedtime -

Sunday, August 25, 2013

And so it begins. Again.

What started as a "slow" few weeks of not getting kinky some how transformed into a very extended period of no kink with little if any sex at all between Miss H and myself. It wasn't really one thing in particular that caused it, just various circumstances that seemed to constantly get in the way. On going issues with my epididymitis, work projects for Miss, etc. Suddenly it was, "you know we haven't had sex at all in like a month?", and it was kind of shocking to say the least. We're not an old couple that's been married for twenty five years and burned out on any type of physical contact, far from it, Miss H is always ready for fun and my sex drive when it's running at full speed is insane.

Earlier in the week we decided that needed to change, this past Friday would be the start of our FLR again, something that I had missed and I know Miss H was dying for. We had the night to ourselves with no other obligations so we could just relax and slip back into our previous kinky lives. I stopped and got a bottle of wine on the way home to help smooth the transition and any awkwardness from our vanilla day to day life back into the female led relationship that worked so well for us in the past.

To be totally honest about things, while I was excited and definitely ready for a little kink, it wasn't the "Christmas morning, right about to open presents" type of excitement that I used to have in the past. For that I take the blame, or more specifically I blame some excessive masturbation. Miss H used to forbid me from masturbating without her permission and had me locked in a metal chastity cage. I was edged almost nightly and it kept me on a level 10 horniness level virtually around the clock. Anything even remotely sexual (writing posts for this blog, tasks for Miss H, being dressed and getting made up, etc) could take hours and it wouldn't matter because all I could focus on was sex, kink, and Miss H.

When we had to take a break from that due to my health issues I got lazy.

 Really lazy.

Initially I wasn't masturbating or wearing the cage anyway because of the epididymitis but because we were playing it safe, all kink kind of stopped. We got out of the FLR groove and a month or so later I was in the bathroom about to take a shower when I felt kind of horny. I started thinking that if I wanted to masturbate why shouldn't I? Neither of us were in a particularly kinky mood (at least outwardly) and suddenly bringing up the topic of dressing or actually doing something about it would be awkward. Besides, I had plenty of things to do that day and didn't have time for anything in depth anyway.

So I did it.

I fired up Tumblr on my phone, jerked off like crazy and came all over the place. Most importantly, I also didn't tell Miss. H. In the past, before our FLR, Miss H never gave a shit if I jerked off or not. She's not one of these people who considers it cheating so she never even gave my masturbation habits a second thought. With an FLR though, it was another story. That little act of defiance, choosing to give my self pleasure instead of Miss H making the decision of when I receive pleasure, was big.

Normally in those rare instances when I was allowed to cum, Miss H would immediately get me back in the right head space by requiring me to drink my cum from a glass and then be diapered and dressed for the rest of the night regardless of how much I protested. She knew that my sex drive instantly crashed after orgasm and that any desire to continue as her proper sissy and act accordingly would go up in smoke. By re-enforcing the proper dynamic it wouldn't take long for me to quickly get back in the swing of things and be her dotting submissive in no time at all.

Now though, by masturbating (and cumming) by myself there was no system of checks and balances in place. If I got horny or bored I would just jerk off and it was the end of it, what ever kinky thoughts and needs entered my head could be taken care of quickly and discreetly without bothering Miss H. Unfortunately the more I did it in private, the less I talked to Miss H about anything kinky, the more self conscious I got about the kinks I love. I've always been very kinky but also very shy and embarrassed about them. When Miss H and I are in FLR mode then things are right as rain. When we aren't I get all nervous and ashamed and don't have an outlet for some of stuff that really turns me on. To remedy that I masturbate, which in the long run makes things worse because I use it as a crutch rather then deal with them head on with Miss H.

I masturbate which means I don't go and tell Miss H directly I want to dress and get kinky, which leads Miss H to think I'm not into the FLR or her anymore, which leads her to step back and cool off, which makes me think she's getting sick of dealing with my kinks so I retreat to the safety of doing things by myself, and then the whole thing repeats and gets worse with every cycle until the loop is broken.

That all changed this past Friday night and I couldn't be happier. More details soon.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

All over the place.

I think I'm either hitting menopause (which is hard to do if you're a 37 year old man) or having a mid life crisis or perhaps just afflicted with seasonal affective disorder. For the past few weeks my hormones seem to be all whacked out. Miss H and I were in the middle of a nice almost two month long period of tease and denial with no orgasms and I was flying high, horny as hell, and generally loving life. Then all of a sudden I got a little bit of chafing on my penis and things just fell apart. We had to take a few days off to let my junk heal and then it just seemed like one thing after another kept popping up to keep us from getting back on track. I was exhausted from getting up early for work so I was falling asleep around 9pm for a while, then Miss H wasn't feeling good for a couple of nights, and so on and so on.

A few days ago Miss H seemed a bit perturbed with things and said something to the effect of us not having had sex or played around in nearly a month. I thought she was crazy at first, that was after all a super long time for us to go without any kind of adult time between us, but after thinking about it for a minute and doing a mental rundown of the calendar, she was absolutely right. I have no idea how that much time passed because it sure didn't seem like that long and the strangest thing was I don't even remember being that horny in that time either. I suppose the stress of day to day life mixed in with some extended bouts of lack of sleep can put the sex drive in neutral for a while.

Several days something just kind of kicked into gear again and I was back to being really horny. I don't know what it was, there was nothing I can put my finger on, but just like that the testosterone was flowing again and Miss H and I dove into one another like horny high school kids. Feeling her touch, her warmth, once again was incredible and rekindled a sense of sexual urgency once again inside me. She said we would definetly be getting back into the FLR again in a few days but for now she wanted me to cum as much as I wanted to, a kind of final hurrah before I'm on extended lockdown again. I'm excited about that but not sure how long that will actually last, she's off to visit a friend in upsate PA this weekend and when she comes back who knows if her mood will have changed and she'll be more interested in putting my cock in a cage instead of putting it inside her.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Better safe then sorry.

If you live anywhere near Pennsylvania then you've probably seen that public service commercial about gambling addiction. The one where the dad drives up to the casino with a car full of presents and balloons for his kids birthday and in a happy, upbeat mood, proudly announces he's going in for a few hands real quick. Fast forward a few hours and he comes out to the darkness and realizes he's missed the party. He freaks, the gambling help line number pops up and you think "holy shit" to yourself for a few seconds before you're distracted by the next commercial that pops up for some new, overpriced, piece of shiny crap.

While I've never got to that point of desperation, I was thinking of that commercial earlier tonight and about how important self control and honesty is in the type of relationship Miss H and I have. While I do wear a cock cage every day to ensure I don't mess with Miss H's "property" if I haven't been given permission to masturbate, I'm not on total maximum security lock down. At night, Miss H will usually unlock my cage and allow me to go to bed without wearing it. Initially it was because I had epididymitis but more recently its been because I find it can be difficult to go to sleep with the metal cage I currently wear.

Because of this freedom, I actually have plenty of opportunities to masturbate if I wanted to "cheat". I could do it in the shower in the morning, in the middle of the night, etc. I don't though, because part of the rush of the FLR relationship is having Miss H in total control so sneaking around behind her back kind of defeats the purpose. Just knowing I could if I wanted to but I don't because I'm worried about what she would do if she caught me turns me on. To be perfectly honest though, in the past year or so I've slipped and masturbated at least twice without her permission. I confessed to her both times because I felt guilty. Once she had a rather severe punishment, which at the time I didn't enjoy at all (but isn't that the point of a punishment?), but in the long run the fact that I was punished so severely really drove home the FLR and was a big thrill. The other time it was more of a slap on the wrist and that was kind of a bummer but at least I didn't have to feel the sting of the cane or anything like that.

Obviously, the more she teases and denies me and the longer I go without being able to cum, the hornier I get and the harder it becomes to remain masturbation free. About an hour ago I decided to take a quick shower, and like I always do when I'm going to take a shower I take a few minutes to check out Tumblr. I wasn't locked anymore (Miss H usually lets me out if I'm going to take a shower) so while scrolling through pic after pic of the most deviant porn I could find, I felt myself starting to leak pre-cum. One thing led to another and while I wasn't technically masturbating, I found myself gently rubbing myself through my panties. I knew I shouldn't be doing it but I couldn't help it, I was horny as hell, dying to dress, and generally in a super kinky mood.

I pulled my pants down, lowered my panties, and and just looked at my rock hard cock, pulsating slightly with excitement as a large drop of pre-cum shined on the tip. I used a finger to rub the pre-cum around the head of my dick and down and around my shaft. The feel of my finger gliding across the underside of my penis made me audibly grunt with frustration. For a good thirty seconds I stood there perfectly still, a raging debate going through my mind. Just a couple of minutes, I told myself, then I could cum real quick and finally relieve some of the crushing sexual pressure I felt inside me. Miss H would never know (other then perhaps my sudden lack of sexual interest and lack of proper manners over the next few days if I did cum and lose my sub space "high").

I took a firm grip of my cock and stroked myself once, the slick pre-cum spreading up and down. It felt out of this world. I did it again. Then I stopped, things were starting to go to far. At that moment in time there was nothing more I wanted then to feel my hand jerking off my cock and to soon afterwards spray a huge load of cum everywhere. To feel that most elusive pleasure of an orgasm, a pleasure that I haven't felt in way to long. To clear my head of the unrelenting sexual urges I've felt non-stop over the past month or so that Miss H has denied me any release.

I cursed softly under my breath as I knew what I had to do. There was no way I was going to be able to deny myself the thing I wanted any longer. My will was weak tonight and it was fading fast. I cursed once more when I pulled the cock cage back out from the bathroom closet. When I was finally soft again I put the cage back where it belongs and locked myself up tight. 

Monday, January 21, 2013

A Day of Humiliation pt. 3

Miss H's final task of the day quite merciless and cruel if I do say so myself. She knew that after hours and hours of dressing and kink I would be in a state of horny euphoria and willing to do just about anything in order to quench my thirst for sexual satisfaction, and of course she was right. Almost since the point I had first started dressing earlier that day, I had been dripping pre-cum like water through a rusty down spout.

Miss H hadn't given me permission to masturbate so about the only touching I did was hold my cock for some of the pictures I took. I was going nuts browsing my Tumblr and feeling the soft silky stockings across my legs and the tightness of the stilettos around my feet so I was dying for release. Miss H txted me to say I was finally allowed to masturbate for twenty whole minutes. The catch? I was only allowed to touch myself if I did so while watching gay porn.

Uh-oh. This didn't sound good.

I enjoyed watching "sissy" porn and transvestite porn which usually consisted of Female Dommes and the occasional male used to abuse the submissive cross dresser, so I asked if that would be acceptable to watch. The answer was a resounding no. That would be to easy, if I was really that horny, I was to watch  regular old man on man porn or nothing at all. 

Feeling a bit weird about the whole situation but undeniably horny, I didn't put up much of an argument and instead quickly fired up google to see what was available. It wasn't to long before I found something that fit the bill and like an animal in heat quickly grabbed hold of my hard cock and started stroking like a madman.

While not my first choice for porn viewing, the fact that it was bondage porn (and kind of rough sex at that) helped make it more acceptable, combine that with the fact that it felt so good to finally touch myself again that virtually anything sexual at that point would have turned me on to some degree. I edged myself over and over again, desperate to cum whether it was hot chicks or some muscle dude in leather chaps face fucking his submissive.

The feelings of embarrassment and humiliation didn't really hit until after I was done and had to text Miss H to tell her I was finished and to thank her for allowing me to masturbate. Miss H likes pushing my buttons and messing with my head and this was one task that really did that.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

A day of Humiliation Pt. 2

Picking up where I left off on my previous post, after my return from WalMart I quickly slipped into the bathroom at home to remove the plug and jump in the shower. I was already shaved pretty smooth but I wanted things silky so I grabbed my trusty razor and got down to business. The next thing up on Miss H's list of tasks for the day was to be dressed for the remainder of the day. I'm quite partial to my silver dress and white stockings with matching platforms, but today I opted to go a different route.

Black wig, pvc dress, a black stockings and garter set (with cute little pink bows near the top), and some sky high stilettos. It felt wonderful sliding back into some sexy slut clothes and as soon as I was done I ran to my makeup box and started applying my foundation and everything else. I was a little out of practice with my makeup skills, Miss H usually prefers me to dress without any additional makeup or wig, but I managed to pull off a pretty good look if I do say so myself. Now I would love to share the "full" pictures with my face included so you can see for yourself but unfortunately for the sake of privacy, for now at least, I have to be somewhat careful with what I post. In the mean time you can at least enjoy the outfit I was wearing.

It didn't take long before I noticed that my cock was just dripping with pre-cum at the thought of finally being able to be dressed again and I was just absolutely out of my mind horny at this point. Which coincidentally, was probably what Miss H expected would happen and why her next task was so difficult. I would finally be allowed some opportunity for pleasure, but not in the way I necessarily wanted. That will have to wait until the next blog post though because I can't sit around all night blogging, not when Miss H has unfinished housework waiting for me to get done. That laundry isn't going to put itself away so this is the end for now.