Another fun night of kink

It's been a good weekend, Miss H and I have been pretty much obligation free this whole weekend so for the most part we've relaxed during the day and slid into the kink by early evening. A drink or two to chill, some crap reality TV show on in the background is how it starts and before long I'm pulling stockings up my legs and begging like a little bitch for relief as the non-stop onslaught of teasing by Miss H kicks into high gear.

In most instances, when we have time to play it's either very "choreographed" ahead of time or completely spur of the moment. By choreographed I simply mean that Miss H will have a list of items she wants laid out and preparations made. Things like attach the chains and straps to the bed, wear a certain outfit when you get out of the shower, etc. The spur of the moment stuff is just that, out of nowhere she'll just order me to get dressed, or insert a butt plug before we go to Wawa, or something along those lines. Both have their advantages, I like the choreagraphed because we're more likely to delve into our frighteningly extensive toy box, while the sudden and unexpected thrill of an unexpected mind fuck is always fun.

Last night was a bit of a tweener, we didn't really have anything concrete in mind yet Miss H told me to go pull out a few toys I wanted to use and put on a my silver dress and white stockings and wait for her while she showered. She didn't seem like she was in the mood for any bondage type fun so instead of the hood, bondage bag, and the like, I went with my ankle high ballet boots, a pair of nipple clamps, and a double sided dildo gag in case she wanted penetration more then the twenty seconds I could provide. 

I didn't take any pics of the clamps or gag because we never got around to using them, but as you can see, the boots make it an absolute pisser to walk. I could do it, but only by concentrating and taking my time, and more then once grabbing hold of some furniture so I wouldn't fall. Oh well, I guess practice makes perfect so I'll have to keep trying. Although if my hands were bound I don't think I would walk in them, to scared I would fall, so in that case I would probably just have to crawl.

 

 I finished a small project I have due for work this week early, as in about twenty minutes ago, so it looks like tonight will be more of the same. I was hoping Miss H and I would have some time but she was rather tired today so I didn't want to push anything, so when she said I would be allowed to watch the Eagles game tonight as long as I was dressed, I was pretty psyched. It still feels kind of weird to be dressed while watching football, talk about polar opposites, but it's a small price to pay to feel Miss H's firm grip around me once more.

Why does this get me off?

Last night was one of the most intense and enjoyable evenings of kink I've ever spent with Miss H. On the surface it wasn't anything overly crazy or risky. It was just me dressed and the two of us laying under the covers together. For literally hours she had me alternately dry humping her leg or writhing in ecstasy as she stroked me over and over again, the whole time slowly and deliberately telling me in detail how much of a whore I was and what she planned to do to me in the future.

While I always go nuts when she talks dirty to me, last night it was at a whole new level. Venturing ever deeper in areas we've talked about before. Things like extreme cuckolding, forced bi, and numerous other things that were causing me to leak like a fire hose. The more she whispered her ideas into my ear, the more I groaned for her touch. I was both hyper excited and turned on while at the same time frustrated beyond all belief. Yet somehow the two opposite feelings were both so intense that they soon started to meld into one wave of pure sexual lust. Every word got me harder, every sensation, that much closer to almost cumming.
It was a beautiful state of being, an extended period of desire and pleasure that felt so much better than the fleeting joy of an orgasm.

I honestly think I enjoy the buildup and hold of extended tease and denial then the sudden release and loss of sexual desire from an orgasm. I still want to cum, but now it's more because I want to clear my head for a bit and take a break from the all consuming sexual drive and frustration of chastity then to get the brief high of cumming.

Anyway, as I was saying before, Miss H was going hard and heavy on the dirty talk and verbal abuse. At one point she made me orally service her while she masturbated herself. As she neared her orgasm she said "tell me what you are". That's her signal for me to begin degrading myself in front of her. To provide that little extra "oomph" to push her over the edge and come to a screaming orgasm. "I'm your little sissy bitch Mistress, your fucking whore. Your cross dressing cum licker", I grunted as two of my fingers rammed in and out of her. She groaned and with a yell reached a quaking orgasm.

She caught her breath and a few moments later as I pulled myself up next to her she sat up. "Wow, that was the first time in a while I had an orgasm strictly from what was going on physically. Usually I have a fantasy or something going through my mind but this time it was purely from what I was feeling. That was pretty cool", she said. Her tone was much different now, not the hard, domineering voice of earlier when she was calling me a useless little sissy, but her more typical day to day tone. This wasn't a comment she made with the explicit purpose of degrading me like before, it was just a matter of fact statement. Like we were discussing where to go for dinner or something.

At first it really hurt to hear her say that. It hurt to hear the woman you love say she has to think about other things to get off. I might dress like a slut but there is still a part of my manly pride that wants to hear that I satisfy her sexually. I was going to say something to her about it but then I noticed my own body had betrayed me. That previously soft cock was now rock hard and dripping once more. As much as I wanted to deny it, the evidence was readily apparent and pulsing in front of me. I loved the feeling of humiliation and shame that I felt when she said that. It's hard to explain why, but the more I'm degraded, humiliated, and dehumanized by her, the more I get turned on sexually and want to be with her.

The sting of her words, even though they were unintentional, was like electricity flowing through me. The fact that they were pure and honest, and not something just said in the heat of fantasy only made it that much worse/better.

Outside

I'm sitting out in our backyard right now. Home a bit early from work today and just enjoying the peace and serenity back here. A pleasant change of pace from an already long work week. It's kind of funny, there are only a few things that ever make me this calm and recharge me mentally, being out in my garden like i am now and dressing. One is supposed to be so relaxing and the other so highly sexual but they both fill a need like not much else can.

My latest diaper humiliation

Personally I've never had a problem with going food shopping. It's one of the household chores I do that I actually kind of enjoy. Miss H on the other hand tends to look at it just like any other task around the house, something that must be done but not something she looks forward to. I mentioned to Miss H that we were running low on food and that I was going to head out to the store to get a few things. Much to my surprise she said she would go with me, just not that night. She said she would prefer to go the following day because she had a few matters to take care of first. I bitched a bit under my breath about how it would be easier to go now then wait but she would have none of it.

I probably should have noticed how calm and relaxed Miss H was, normally when I get snippy and talk back she immediately rectifies the situation, this time she didn't even really mention it at all. Last night when I got home we ate dinner and then prepared to head out to the food store to do our shopping. I walked into the bedroom to grab the hoodie I had left in the closet and saw Miss H get changed into a pair of jeans. "oh, by the way, you'll probably want to get changed, you'll be diapered for our trip", she said without missing a beat. "what?" I shot back indignently. "You heard me, if you want to have an attitude about things then you'll recieve the appropriate punishment. Now hurry up, I don't have all night, make sure you're nice and padded", she said as she walked out of the room. Wasn't much I could really do other then let out a quick sigh under my breath and do what she wanted.

I headed over to the other closest and brought out what would be that night's instruments of shame - a regular pull-up diaper, a thick bulky overnight diaper, one male "booster" insert, and the pair of adult plastic panties. It was only a minute or two before I had everything on

Usually when Miss H diapers me its underneath a dress or with limited clothing on so wearing it underneath a pair of pants is a feeling I haven't experienced in a while. Much more tight and compressed, especially with a belt pulled taught around them. It felt like I was smuggling a cantaloupe between my legs as the thickness and bulk of the diapers made me sort of waddle ever so slightly as I headed to the living room. Miss H merely slapped my crotch a few times, shook her head, and we left for what was no doubt going to be an interesting night of grocery shopping.

When we got there I was calm for the most part until we were half way to the entrance and we encountered some people walking out. Just an ordinary couple doing there shopping like we were, but I immediately felt like they knew what was going on. They glanced in our direction for all of two seconds but I instantly got panicked that maybe they noticed the bulge all around the top of my pants or that somehow they just knew. They could smell my fear and I might as well have been just wearing the diaper and nothing else.

After about five minutes in the store I relaxed a bit but Miss H noticed me constantly pulling the back of my t-shirt down, I never could shake the feeling that maybe it was riding up and someone could see the top of my diaper. Occasionally Miss H would loudly make a comment like "do you think any other adults are wearing diapers like you are?" She seemed to get some sick thrill by watching the horrified reaction that would shoot across my face. She also thought it would amusing to take this pic while we were walking down one of the aisles.

I don't think anyone realized what I was wearing, or at least no one overtly acted like they did. Before long we were finished and thankfully back into the safe haven of home. The rest of the day? Well that's a blog post for another day.

Her new game

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Life at full speed.

This past weekend Miss H and I spent most of our time engaged in some much needed kink time. It's been a while since I've been able to dress as much as I would like to and just spend time with the woman I love. Things ended nicely with a much needed ruined orgasm. Much needed because she tease and denied the living hell out of me almost constantly from Friday night to Sunday afternoon. We also had a fun little shopping trip Sunday morning (more on that in an upcoming blog post) that was a nice change of pace as well.

The invariable drop in arousal after released kicked in for a little while after the ruined orgasm but was soon back. It's now Wednesday night and while I'm not quite as horny as I would expect, it has much more to do with just basically being tired as crap from a near constant onslaught of "daily life". From the minute I get back home from work, it's always something requiring every last bit of energy I have left. Add in to that the fact that work is just crazy busy as always, and you have a drained little sissy. It's like the mind is willing but the body is unable.

Enough complaining though, every body has a busy life so hearing me bitch about mine isn't doing anyone any good. That's why instead lets focus on something more intriguing like Halloween. My personal favorite holiday and just about the biggest holiday out there for other cross dressers, Halloween is fast approaching. I definitely want something new to wear this year so I've been checking out outfits online and really have to get into gear and order something before it's to late. Miss H and I will probably be attending the Henri David Halloween Ball in Center City Philly again this year which is always an amazing event and huge! If you've never been I highly recommend it.

Ok, I'm falling asleep at the keyboard so time to call it a night.

More photos

No time for a major post tonight so time for more pics.