Friday, September 14, 2012

Craving humiliation

The other night I was reading some posts on one of the fetish/chastity message forums I frequent every now and again. The question posed was, do you feel the need the need for physical pain if you've been locked up in chastity for an extended period of time? The reasoning being that the normal rush of endorphins from sex and orgasm were missing because of the chastity so as a means to replace that, the author was seeking to get that endorphin rush in another manner, S/M play. I think there's a lot of validity to that, because in my own experience I like pain and discipline as part of our sexual play, it's not always my first choice (I prefer bondage, dressing, humiliation, etc more then actual pain) but I've definitely noticed that the longer I'm in chastity and the hornier I get, the more I seem to want a good caning or paddling at the hands of Miss H.

It's like I need the emotional charge and buildup of the pain and then the eventual release of it stopping to be able to get any sense of mental calm and put myself back into a more docile state. Otherwise I get so overcharged sexually that I'm like a maniac, unable to do anything else other then focus on my desire for sex. A few days into chastity and I'm secretly hoping Miss H will keep her cane on the shelf, yet fast forward a couple of weeks and I'm on all fours begging to be hit harder and harder.

I think my desire for humiliation and verbal abuse is very similar as well. The more I'm denied sexually, the more I need deeper and more intense forms of humiliation and degradation. Comparing day one of chastity with day 30 is like night and day.  Maybe it's that I'm so horny that it allows me to be more open and accepting of what really turns me on and be willing to actually enjoy it as opposed to being totally embarrassed and ashamed of the same things when I'm not in a horny mood.

Case in point, the other night with Miss H. She has a pair of shoes she often wears to work, they're a pair of patent leather flats that she likes because they're comfortable yet stylish enough to wear for her job. Normally I only really like the total whore, 6" platform type stripper shoes but for some reason these shoes intrigued me. I'm not exactly sure why, but I've been kind of turned on by them recently. To the point where I actually asked her to wear them to bed for me. Miss H was nice enough to humor me and wear them and they looked amazing on her. She normally doesn't dress up or "accessorize", mainly because she doesn't need to (she's super hot like that) so her wearing shoes of any type to bed instantly did it for me.

It wasn't long before I was at the bottom of the bed worshiping her shoes eagerly with my tongue. Kissing and licking every inch of the shiny, smooth material. The humiliation of licking her shoes, especially when they weren't even "sexy" footwear was getting me hard and dripping in no time. While it was wonderful and a big turn on, I needed more. More humiliation, more degradation, more abuse, so I muttered something under my breath that I had been up until that point to scared to ask.

"What was that?", Miss H snapped, unable to hear what I had said.

"Nothing", I meekly stammered. "No, tell me what you said, now", she replied as she lightly tapped my now hanging head with her foot.

"Could....could...I please lick the bottom of your shoe?", I said with a wave of utter shame crashing over me. Without skipping a beat or hesitating, she ordered me to lick the bottom of her left shoe. I was both disgusted with what I was doing and yet turned on immensely at the same time. The physical sensation wasn't anything to write home about, it just tasted like rubber, but mentally it was crushing.

"Are these the ones you wear to outside to work?", I asked, already knowing the answer. "You mean are these the shoes I wear out on the public streets, in my office, in public bathrooms, and everywhere else in town? Why yes they are", she said in a totally relaxed voice. "Now why don't you start on the bottom of my other foot".

I continued on both of her feet, moving back and forth between the two shoes, licking all over and underneath them for a while longer before Miss H finally told me to stop. As a reward for being such a good foot slave she allowed me to touch her and even put on a condom and enter her. That of course didn't last long, after just a few strokes I was already ready to cum and had to pull out. Miss H chastised me for my poor performance and told me to continue. I warned her I wouldn't be able to last much longer but she didn't care, she was either in the mood to finally get fucked hard (if only briefly) or to just have me finish so she could end things because she was bored. What ever the reason, I slammed into her as hard as I could and almost immediately I felt I was about to cum so I kept pumping away, a huge load of cum filling the condom. I groaned in ecstasy and then rolled off of her.

"Now go ahead take that condom off and drink it, you know the rules, no cumming without drinking it right back down", she mockingly said. I knew there was no use arguing so I did it like a shot, one quick hit and swallowed it as fast as possible. We then both got up and went to clean up and get ourselves ready for bed. As we laid down to go to bed I leaned over to give her a kiss like I do every night, she pulled her head back though which was a first. "Do you really think I'd let a dirty shoe licking, cum drinker kiss me? I don't want to get anywhere near that filthy mouth", she said with a scowl. It hurt to hear that but my now throbbing hard on told a different story. I was allowed to snuggle with her but my lips didn't get close for the rest of the night, Miss H made sure of that.

It was a good night.


  1. I'm not one to be judgmental, and I certainly don't mean this that way, but... does that really make you happy? It just seems so sad... Makes me assume that you must feel so worthless... :(

    I'm a submissive personality myself but it'd still hurt me tremendously if the person I love mocked/humiliated me... And I grew up being told I was worthless, and feeling worthless. I just hope you're actually happy and not hurting... :(

  2. I think there's a very thin line between humiliation that's a turn on and humiliation that's not. For instance, I love when Miss H talks about how inadequate I am as a man or how pathetic I am. I can't explain why but it really gets me going. By the same token, if she made me wear a duck costume and dance in front of the local Mall, then that does nothing for me. As long as it's in the realm of sex/kink/fetish, then there's just about nothing humiliating or degrading that doesn't get me off in some way.

  3. Who the buck is mistress H. Hey bra- ad I'm a man, got dat, I don't wear panties, nail polish, etc, that's for broads like uz got dat! Joe Blou.