Photo time.

In a bit of a hurry today but I noticed a *ton* of pictures that I've had sitting on my phone for a while so I thought I'd share some with u. Hope u like them!

No relief

Miss H hasn't touched her cock in days, she sometimes rubs me through my panties but that's about it. I'm not complaining though because last night was the first time in a while that I got to sleep without the CB6000 on. She was gracious enough to allow me to dry hump her leg and ass while she fell asleep however.

This morning she rolled over and allowed me the same privilege. This is the result, wet with precum, frustrated, and totally unable to focus on anything that isn't sexual.

My next writing assignment.

Miss H was so pleased with the results of my first writing assignment that she has assigned another one. This time the topic is what I learned from being locked up for the past week. If you'll remember, last weekend Miss H was upset with my lackadaisical attitude regarding our FLR relationship. As a punishment she ordered me into the cage without a break for an entire week. Normally this wouldn't be to bad because usually when I'm locked up Miss H will still release me for short tease and denial sessions. This time the cage never once came off for even a minute. I was locked in tight.

Being teased and denied might seem like torture, but it's nothing compared to getting no contact what so ever.  At least with the teasing you get some enjoyment to go along with the non-stop sexual frustration, but with complete imprisonment, you don't even get that. It's just day after day of unending desire with nothing at all to break up the misery. To sum up, it sucked. Hard.

So what did I learn? Well for one thing, that's not an experience I want to endure again. Especially when the length of lock down would almost assuredly be longer the next time. I might not have the sexual freedom I did before we started the FLR, but what I have I don't want to give up again any time soon.  More importantly though, I think I learned that perhaps Miss H is 100% serious about wanting this for our permanent relationship. While I don't think I'll ever be absolutely positive about that (you can never see what's inside someones head after all), it was definitely a good sign. I'm always very self conscious about things and worry that a lot of what we do is actually her just trying to make me happy, so when she takes charge and does things which not only I dislike, but she likes, it's kind of reassuring to me.

The biggest lesson I learned however was that it takes two people to make this type of relationship really work. I can be as sub as possible but if she doesn't want to be Dom or vice versa then it's not going to work. Being a sub means being a sub at all times, not just when it sexually or emotionally suits me to be. If I was Dom then I would make the rules and act the way I wanted to, but that's not who I am, I take direction better then I give it which is why I naturally gravitate toward the sub role. And as a sub there's good and bad to deal with, but it's not my place to complain about what I don't like, because in the end, the sheer act of submission to Miss H is a reward in itself and more then makes up for what ever minor petty things I don't like.

It seems like 85% of the time I would do anything Miss H asked at the drop of the hat, the other 15% I kind of find myself in that non-horny, not that compliant mood and that's where the problems tend to stem from. My goal is to narrow that gap to the point where any order from Miss H is done without any back talk, complaints, or general hissy fit being thrown. That's not to say I'll ever be perfect at it, but making the effort is a good first step.

Writing assignment

Last night I awoke to the feeling of Miss H rubbing her hand down my inner thigh and gently caressing the outside of my cock cage. I whimpered as my attempt to get erect was quickly stopped in its tracks by the plastic tubing of the CB-6000. "I'll bet you wish you would have listened to me on Saturday and gotten the dog cage out for you like I asked, huh?" She whispered in my ear with a certain level of joy in her voice. "Just think, I could have been touching you instead right now if you would have simply remembered your place in this relationship and done what you were told". The pain in my groin was matched only by my desire for release, to be free and once again experience the pleasure of her hand against me.

"I want you to do something for me", she purred. "I want your next blog post to be about me, write about what your favorite part of my body is". "Yes, Mistress" I replied. With that she abruptly rolled over and I knew that was the end of things for tonight. So, my friends and fellow perverts, is exactly what I'll be doing right now.

Initially I thought this would be easy, I've always loved breasts and that's definitely one department that Miss H excels in. All of my former girlfriends, etc have always been in the small to almost medium category. Miss H on the other hand is just a touch under a double D. Her breasts are large, delicately soft, and 100% natural, with cute little nipples that make her moan with delight when I suck and play with them. I love it when she pushes my face between them and smothers me, forcefully holding my head from escaping as I gasp desperately for air. It's only when I start to go limp does she finally release me to catch some much needed air.

So my first thought was that her breasts were my favorite part until I saw her feet this morning when she was about to leave for work. Smooth, sexy feet, toes always painted, and a touch like silk. The thought of those cute toes working there way in and out of my mouth never fails to drive me wild. I eagerly worship her feet whether its the minute she walks in the door from a hard day at the job or to thank her for being my Mistress right before we drift off to bed together. Just thinking of the way she sometimes steps on me with her beautiful feet, trampling me beneath them, is making me groan softly to myself as I write this.

Next I thought I was wrong all along, it had to be her face. She is so beautiful in every conceivable manner. The way she smiles, the way she looks regardless of how she does her hair, she's just gorgeous. One minute she'll have her hair back in a pony tail and she looks like the prototypical cute, fun girl next door type. Then in an instant she's getting ready for work and looks every bit the part of the ball busting, sexy CEO you'd find in a movie.

When she walked out to her car I changed my mind once again. It was definitely her ass. I guess you could say Sir Mix A Lot and I have a lot in common.

Ok, well probably only one thing in common but still.... I do love some junk in the trunk and Miss H is amazing there too. Everything about it turns me on, grabbing it, licking it, squeezing it, you name it, it drives me insane. She bought a pair of black yoga pants a few months ago to wear as pajamas. They look great on her but we differ on whether or not they're the right size. She tells me that they're her normal size, I told her she should get them about three sized smaller, not because they're to loose, but because since she still has circulation in her legs that means they need to be tighter ;) How else am I going to fully appreciate that beautiful butt? She can't keep hiding it behind properly fit clothing, where's the fun in that?

That previous line was going to be my closing sentence in this post. Her ass was the winner, my post was finished and I was going to head out to take care of a few things. Then she sent me a txt message. A dirty txt message. A txt message that was totally unexpected but instantly got me all turned on. That's when it hit me, as beautiful, sexy, and downright amazing as Miss H's body is, it's her devious mind that I like the most. Having a sexy body is like having an expensive sports car. If you have a crappy driver behind the wheel then it doesn't matter how good the car is, things aren't going to go so well.

From the naughty messages she sends me while we're apart to the cruel tasks she makes me perform, it's the mind and spirit inside her body that always ends up turning me on the most. It just so happens that I'm lucky enough that she combines the best of both worlds into one complete package, a one of kind woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Cock lockdown.

Before I posted my last blog entry I emailed a copy to Miss H. She just seemed a bit off so I wanted to give her a chance to look at it and possibly provide an easy way to work into a discussion if she was in the mood to talk. She replied that she was glad I had written it because she was a whole hell of a lot more pissed about it then she had initially let on. She agreed with just about everything I said and mentioned how she was glad I finally realized how I was acting and how it was negatively impacting our FLR.

Yesterday afternoon I got out of the shower and walked over to say something to Miss H when she had a quizzical look on her face. "Where's your cage?" she asked. "Well I told you I forgot to put it on Saturday morning because we were running late then since I didn't take a shower till now I never got around to it. You know I put it on after I take a shower", I said defensively. The result was swift. "In the cage, now", was all she said. I was kind of taken back because not more than an hour previously she had told me that night would be a perfect opportunity for some "naked time" as she called it. "But I thought you said we were going to have some time for us tonight", I stammered. "We will, you'll just have that cock in cage until next weekend at least", was her reply.

That was not what I expected or wanted to hear because I was getting progressively hornier as the day moved along and Miss H was looking especially sexy, her yoga pants tight around every curve on her gorgeous legs. Not much to do other then to follow her orders, any further complaining was only going to make her more upset. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting out of this cage before the weekend. Even if Miss H does get a bit horny herself, I doubt she'll break down and let me out. This is not erotic teasing on her part, but instead simply punishment. It's a way to teach me a lesson, don't follow orders and she'll forget about touching me.

To show just how serious she was, last night in the middle of the night I woke up to her rubbing all around my cage and she began whispering all sorts of dirty thoughts into my ear. I instantly started getting hard, or at least tried to before the plastic tube of the CB-6000 shut me down. The pain of the attempted erection was bad but it didn't stop her. She kept going as I whimpered in a mix of pain and unimaginable desire. My pleas for release were met with a laugh as she continued for what seemed like at least fifteen minutes before suddenly stopping just as quickly as she started.  I lay there in bed, frustrated, dripping, and not looking forward to the next seven days.

An epiphany

I know, that's an overused term. People say it all the time. I get it. That's not going to stop me from saying it though because I really feel like I did have a sort of an epiphany or, if you insist, a bit of a revelation today. I was literally standing in the bathroom checking my phone to see if I had any new email. One thing led to another and before I knew it I was reading a blog entry over at All Mine, which is with out a doubt one of my favorite blogs that I consistently follow.

First though let me take a minute to get you up to speed with the last few days. Friday night Miss H was pleasing, or torturing me, depending on your point of view, with an extended tease and denial session. Time after time she stroked me to the very edge of orgasm only to stop right before I would cum. I was thrashing around, desperately trying to tighten up and prevent myself from orgasming as her hand never seemed to stop playing with me. She told me in excruciating detail how I was to set up our metal dog cage first thing Saturday morning because she had something in store for me on Sunday. She was going to be nice and let me watch the Eagles game but the catch was I would be naked in the cage with her cock tied securely to the bars behind me and my hands tied above me. A large water bottle (the kind you would have for a rabbit cage) would provide something for me to drink after she attached it to the side of the cage. No doubt there would be other tortures to come, but just those that she mentioned were enough to keep me dripping pre-cum in a constant flow.

Fast forward to Saturday morning. We were going to a wedding for one of Miss H's friend and we were a little bit late getting up. So were already running a bit behind when I realized I had forgotten to add oil to my car like I meant to the day before. I was long overdue for an oil change so when I checked the dipstick I was nearly empty. I didn't want to take a six hour roundtrip drive with no oil so we would have to make an additional stop on the way. Between that, getting up late, and some other minor issues, I was in such a rush I totally forgot to set up the cage like Miss H asked. To make matters worse, I also forgot to put my CB-6000 cock cage back on and lock it up.

We ended up getting to the wedding in time and everything went pretty well. During dinner Miss H made a subtle joke about being in the cage tomorrow. I responded sort of negatively to the idea, I wasn't really in the sub zone at that particular moment and I almost remembered that I needed to get a few things done for work on Sunday also so naked in a cage didn't sound as comfy as relaxing on the couch and getting my work done.
She looked kind of taken back by my reply and even more so when I told her that the cage wasn't a good idea.

We changed the subject and we didn't say much else about it for the rest of the night. The mood between us was still good for the most part but I soon forgot about the whole cage thing again until Sunday morning. I woke up before Miss H and walked out into the living room. I wasn't really sure what to do, should I go ahead and put up the cage anyway even though I wasn't super excited about the idea or just let it go because Miss H hadn't mentioned it again since last night. I decided on the latter and got started on my work. Miss H got up a few hours later and the day was for the most part uneventful. She didn't say anything about the cage or anything kinky for that matter.

Now back to my quasi-epiphany, I was reading this blog entry on All Mine and read the following -

"...Those are the rules, whether I'm halfway around the world or sick in bed.  What happened yesterday can be viewed as an isolated incident but is most likely an indicator of a bigger problem.  Where else is she cutting corners?

This isn't a lifestyle where you weave in and out of at your convenience.  That's not the way I want it.  It takes a 100% commitment. We've had this conversation before and admittedly, I've agreed that there will be times when living the lifestyle completely is difficult, and I'm totally understanding of that.  There are also times when I willfully cut sissy more slack and give her more free time.  Yesterday wasn't one of those times."

That's when it kind of hit me. To often I like to "play the role" when it suits me, when I'm horny or when I want to dress, and when I'm not in the mood, I tend to shut things down. When I'm horny, no amount of work projects can get in the way of me sucking on Miss H's toes, but when I'm not in the sub zone the slightest vanilla task becomes an insurmountable task that requires my undivided attention.

I constantly tell Miss H that I would love for her to be as cruel as she wants, to take full control over all aspects of our lives, to fully make me her submissive sissy bitch, yet get upset when she doesn't. Now I used to, very selfishly, assume the problem was Miss H wasn't being dominate enough. Sure, I was being bratty by not listening to her sometimes but that's only because she wasn't being strict enough to control me in the proper manner. 

Maybe it was the whole "I can't see the forest through the trees" type thing, but it wasn't until I read that passage from Suzanne that I realized it takes two to tango. A perfect Dom/sub relationship works when both parties are doing their respective jobs. A good slave is a slave that does what he or she is supposed to and that's please their Dom. If Miss H tells me to do a certain task I should do it regardless if she's standing over me with a whip and beating me senseless or simply at home by myself doing something she emailed me about last night. 

It should be a yin and yang type relationship where Miss H is there to provide guidance and correction when I need it and I'm there to please her. Like any machine, when one part isn't working properly, things don't run the way they should. There will no doubt be times (probably quite frequently) where Miss H will need to provide discipline or punishment for things I do but my only motivation shouldn't be to avoid punishments, the reward of serving her should be an equal if not greater push to do what's right. 

It won't necessarily be easy because as much as I love Miss H and want to see her satisfied, I personally get off sexually on her being cruel, completely controlling, and dishing out constant punishments and humiliations. I know I sound like a selfish prick and I do need to act much differently. I am however glad that at least I've finally realized that I do want a full 24/7 FLR relationship with Miss H and that's going to mean doing things when I'm not in the mood to and putting her wishes in front of my own in a lot of situations. I have to be proactive and be a good slave. If Miss H says do XYZ then that's what I need to do regardless if I can "get away with" not doing it or whether or not she's monitoring every little thing I do.

The joys of being a diaper sissy pt. 2

To finish up my my previous post, soon after posting that I got another txt from Miss H telling me what was going to happen later that night. Any idea? You guessed it, diaper time. Not sure if Miss H had seen the post or it was just a random coincidence but she was dead set on seeing my little sissy ass diapered up and waddling from all the padding around my waist and between my legs. The only downside was that she insisted on the ugly nightgown and pantyhose to go with them. Finally being able to be trapped in diapers again though made it all worth it.

Naturally, it ended the same way it does every time Miss H diapers me, left all night leaking pre-cum in my diaper, desperate for relief, only to have her tease me about how much she like to touch me but can't because I'm all bundled up beneath those thick diapers. The next day forced to wake her in the morning and stand before he to ask permission to pee into my diaper while she just watches and shakes her head.


Miss H hasn't mentioned whether or not she's checked out the link I sent her yet. Probably she's just been busy and hasn't had a chance to yet. Hopefully she'll find a few things that interest her when she does ;)