A day of Humiliation Pt. 2

Picking up where I left off on my previous post, after my return from WalMart I quickly slipped into the bathroom at home to remove the plug and jump in the shower. I was already shaved pretty smooth but I wanted things silky so I grabbed my trusty razor and got down to business. The next thing up on Miss H's list of tasks for the day was to be dressed for the remainder of the day. I'm quite partial to my silver dress and white stockings with matching platforms, but today I opted to go a different route.

Black wig, pvc dress, a black stockings and garter set (with cute little pink bows near the top), and some sky high stilettos. It felt wonderful sliding back into some sexy slut clothes and as soon as I was done I ran to my makeup box and started applying my foundation and everything else. I was a little out of practice with my makeup skills, Miss H usually prefers me to dress without any additional makeup or wig, but I managed to pull off a pretty good look if I do say so myself. Now I would love to share the "full" pictures with my face included so you can see for yourself but unfortunately for the sake of privacy, for now at least, I have to be somewhat careful with what I post. In the mean time you can at least enjoy the outfit I was wearing.

 

It didn't take long before I noticed that my cock was just dripping with pre-cum at the thought of finally being able to be dressed again and I was just absolutely out of my mind horny at this point. Which coincidentally, was probably what Miss H expected would happen and why her next task was so difficult. I would finally be allowed some opportunity for pleasure, but not in the way I necessarily wanted. That will have to wait until the next blog post though because I can't sit around all night blogging, not when Miss H has unfinished housework waiting for me to get done. That laundry isn't going to put itself away so this is the end for now.

 

A day of humiliation.

I knew I was going to have today off for a while and I had originally planned to try and be productive and get some errands done, work around the house, etc. Boring stuff, but stuff that needed to get done none the less. I had gently hinted to Miss H about possibly getting dressed during the day my last day off and while she was receptive to the idea, I never got around to doing it (it was my fault actually). She must have remembered my innocent little request because last night she not only txted me that I was to definitely dress on this day off, but a long list of other tasks and humiliations as well. I've only recieved the first four things on the list so far (it's around 11am as I write this entry) but already there's to much to cram into a single blog post so what I'm going to do is break them down over a few days and give each the attention they deserve.

The first thing on the list was to wake up bright and early and head to Walmart to pick up a few things that Miss H needed. It didn't seem that bad until I read exactly what she had in mind for me. I was to take a butt plug and single use packet of lube into the bathroom at the Walmart near our house, edge myself for at least five minutes, then insert the butt plug, and finally go shopping for the items Miss H requested. It's been a while since Miss H wanted to engage in these tasks/humiliations again and while I was super turned on by it, I was also really nervous because I had done anything like this in probably almost six months to a year.

It was about 8:30 when I rolled into the parking lot and was actually more crowded in the store then I had expected. I quickly walked over toward the bathroom, found a clean stall and proceeded to go in and get ready.

I was pretty nervous the first few minutes so I just shut the door and sat down and waited. There was a steady flow of people in and out and it both freaked me out and turned me on to know what I was about to do. I pulled down my pants and started playing with myself and I looked at Tumblr porn on my phone. It wasn't long after that I was getting rather excited and ready to move on to the next step.

I waited till the coast was clear and then stood up to insert the large butt plug into my ass. Considering how anxious I was it slipped in surprisingly easily and I let out a small groan of pleasure as the plug pushed deep inside of me. 

Pulling up my panties, I took a deep breath and told myself to relax, no one could see the plug through my pants and certainly nobody would ever suspect what I was doing. After washing my hands I headed out with a smile across my face as I could feel the wetness both in front of my panties (precum) and in the back (squishy lube). No one gave me a second look or paid much attention to me at all as I shopped.

I finished the rest of the shopping without incident and drove home, the butt plug still secure inside me, as I could only imagine what Miss H had in store for the rest of the day...

My safe place?

For roughly the past two weeks or so Miss H and I have been back in a pretty regular tease and denial groove. Things have been quite good because of it too, we haven't really had any major disagreements or fights, we've both been happy, and it's been a fun time. Now while that hasn't really changed to a huge extent, I did run into a bit of a hiccup in the past few days which kind of really reinforced something I've known for a while.

This past Tuesday night I had a wicked migraine so I ended up going to bed early. This was the first time in a while where Miss H and I hadn't really had any sort of physical contact of some time. The next morning I woke up and although I felt better, the day turned into one long, giant, trek of hell, and subsequently my overall mood took a nose dive. It was one of those days were everything went wrong and the slightest thing seemed to just get under my skin and drive me crazy. Work sucked, the filter on my big fish tank started making this horrible grinding noise, and the list of annoyances kept getting bigger and bigger as the day went on. By the end of the night, I was in full on hissy fit/meltdown/asshole mode and sex of any kind was about the last thing on my mind. I was a total beast to be around and Miss H, to her credit, tried to put me in a better mood and not kick my ass in the process, but to no avail.

Thursday I was in a bit better mood but strangely I wasn't feeling the kink all that much. Maybe the three day break from our normal fun had snapped me out of my cozy sub space feelings? I was thinking about that this morning when one of my coworkers called with a bit of juicy workplace news. To make a long story short, where I work we are big time overstaffed and yet on our last reviews/audits the marks were quite poor. My particular unit was fine but overall, the entire organization was not meeting performance standards. To rectify this, my big bosses decided they implementing a much more stringent, weekly auditing practice that goes into effect next week. They were not shy about explaining that these audits were a way, to put it bluntly, cull the herd and get rid of the deadweight. My particular job position is for the most part safe (the overstaffing is minimal and they actually hired more of us recently) but anything that could potentially leave me without a job isn't exactly news I want to hear about.

While not in freak out mode, it did put me on edge a bit (which is not the kind of edging I like, btw) and started getting a bit anxious. When things like this happen I usually end up obsessing and panicking and get myself all worked up for a while, I'm a bit of worry wart if you haven't picked up on that yet. Then, something strange happened. I started to get a sudden urge to get kinky, not jerk off in the bathroom to fetish porn kind of kinky, but throw on a dress, fuck my ass with a huge dildo, then wear a diaper for the rest of the day kinky. It sounds odd to be suddenly turned on that much when what appears to be a black cloud of doom is forming over head, but thinking about it more, it makes sense.

When ever I've had a stressful or rough patch in my life (divorce, break ups, etc), the only thing that would ever snap me out of it or even just let me think about anything else for even a minute was my kinky side. Exercising, hanging out with friends, engaging in a hobby I enjoyed, none of those things even would enter my radar when I was really depressed or worried about whatever was troubling me at the time. All I could focus on or pour over in excruciating detail was the current problem at hand.

That or kink.

Not to psycho analyze things to much, but I think it's because dressing and enjoying my many fetishes is an escape from the "real" world for a little while. The more the cane stings or the verbal abuse from Miss H makes me shudder, the more I focus on that instead of my other problems. It's not like an alter ego, but it is nice to sometimes step into the role of a sissy whore and allow my priorities to switch from paying the mortgage, making sure I have a job, and keeping an eye on my cholesterol levels, to seeing how long I can stand being mummified in plastic wrap, enjoying the feel of Miss H's strap-on, and hoping she'll release my cock cage long enough for me to pathetically fuck my fleshlight while she ignores me and reads a book. Some people use alcohol or drugs to escape for a while after a rough day, I guess I prefer putting on some silky stockings and dressing like a horny little slut.

Looking back, for as long as I can remember, stressful situations always kicked in an even more intense need to dress and get kinky then usual. It's not that when I'm happy and comfortable I don't want to get kinky, in fact quite the opposite, but when things get stressful it just gets pushed up a notch. All things considered though, if that's the worst thing that happens and all it takes is a butt plug and orgasm denial to recalibrate my emotions on occasion then things could be a lot worse. I'll take vinyl dresses and sissy maid outfits to anti-depressants any day.

New writing assignment

Every now and then Miss H will give me a particular topic she wants me to blog about. Sometimes it's just to get some new posts up (I get a bit busy, or more specifically, a bit lazy with writing new posts on occasion), and other times it's more of a therapeutic thing. We'll have an issue that causing friction between us on some level and being someone who can often be rather tight lipped with their emotions and feelings, I kind of clam up and shut down any attempt at a discussion to work things out. It's not my best personality trait, and I try to work on it, but it has an ugly tendency to rear up and get in the way of things.

Over the past two weeks or so Miss H have been like a little old married couple. We love each other but any sexual enthusiasm has been sputtering. There have been the usual factors, stress at work, "family" type worries and minor issues, and just the general hustle and bustle of the holiday season. It's not like it was one event, that caused it or was keeping it going, it just seems like it was a whole parade of things that just had the worst possible timing at every turn.

First I got a wicked stomach bug at work that put me totally out of commission for three or four days. Then a close family member got it from me so Miss H and I spent a good deal of time taking care of them. Miss H was teetering on the edge of getting it for several days, she was run down and tired and was dangerously close to getting a full on "wraith of god" type bug until she too finally succumb to it herself a few days ago. Between all the puking and wishing for death, sex or kink isn't high on the priority list so it took a back seat. This unfortunately came after an earlier sex dry spell we had so it had the added effect of magnifying our lack of play and making our sex life rather dead and boring.

 

To make matters worse, I think I'm getting a touch of SAD, or seasonal affective disorder. I'm not usually a hypochondriac but for some reason it just seems like every winter until about mid-march I just feel like I'm constantly in a total funk. Once the spring and nice weather returns I'm back and full of energy but until then these early sunrises are killing me. The dark mornings and dark nights just make me want to crawl up into a ball on the sofa and not move again until the weather improves. I should take a hint from the groundhogs and just hibernate until April.

I don't know, maybe I'm just being overly dramatic.There have been plenty of times in the past weeks that I've not only been in the mood to get kinky with Miss H but downright rabid dog type horny, but it's like our sexual moods are always just on different calendars. When I'm horny, she's not feeling well, when she's horny, I'm exhausted from a rough day at work. When we're both horny a family issue will pop up and suck the time right away from us. We need like a week off from work and life to just recalibrate and get our sex drives back in the same gear.

I know I love her and find her incredibly sexy and I hope she feels the same about me so I'm not really worried that there's any core problem we have to work on, I think it's just making an effort to find time and the right head space to get back into doing what we both love. In other words being a crazy, kinky couple.

 

Back in diapers

A couple of weeks ago I happened to be on Amazon buying some Christmas presents for friends and family. While I was clicking and buying like a mad man I took a minute to check out my own "private" wishlist I had made on the site. Only Miss H and I can see and it provides an excellent way to keep track of future purchases I want to make and gifts I would like to receive. Most of the items on the list aren't exactly what you'd call impulse items, a $500 straight jacket or a $100 pair of platform boots for instance, but one item did catch my eye. A pair of pastel pink, size medium, plastic diaper panties for around $20. I've been eying them for a while and kept telling myself that "next time" I would finally get them. That next time finally happened.

Usually if I see them, I would pass on buying them because I was kind of embarrassed to get them or just didn't feel they were worth it when I still had a mortgage and tons of other bills to take care of first. This time though, with a raging hard on in my panties and an online shopping cart already stuffed with purchases, adding one last item for myself didn't seem like such a bad idea after all.

The packages came in the mail a few short days later. I'll save you the boredom of looking through images of books, movies, and the rest of the vanilla stuff and instead get right to the good stuff...

The color was a little too subtle for my taste, I'd have preferred a bright sissy pink as opposed to the very soft pink of the plastic, but overall it wasn't to bad. I got a size medium because with my first pair of plastic diaper panties I got a size large thinking that with all the extra padding of multiple diapers that a size medium (my normal clothing size) would be way to small. It turned out that the large was big even when Miss H super stuffed in diaper upon diaper. It was still useable, just a bit baggy and not as snug as it could have been. The size medium is almost perfect, tight around the legs to stop any leaks, yet big enough around the waist where I could easily accommodate a whole other diaper or two packed around my current diaper setup if she really wanted to make me waddle and keep me diapered for an extended period of time without changing me.

While we didn't really pack them in last night, we did get to get take the new plastic panties for a test drive and I love them. 

They do look a big white in the picture but I think that's partially due to the coloring of the photo and also because they're semi transparent and the thick diaper directly underneath them is white as well. At some point I'll probably try to get another pair that is a very dark pink and maybe isn't so clear, but for now I hope to get many, many more opportunities to enjoy the pair I have ;)

Back with a vengeance

After what's been a roughly two week patch without any real kink or FLR type activity going on, Miss H and I finally got two seconds to breath last night and had a chance to play. The reason for our "pause" in the FLR isn't because of anything bad at all, in fact it was due to something really wonderful and amazing (I'll catch you up with a more in depth explanation later, running really short on time right now). Last night though really rekindled the kinky fires however.

To be honest I was in kind of a hum-drum mood about the idea of playing yesterday, initially at least. It's not that I didn't want to as much as I just felt it could go either way. If we played, great. If we don't, that's cool too because I have a bunch of other things I needed to do also. Once we got into though, I couldn't believe how good it felt on so many levels. The raging, almost obsessive desire to cum came back like a runaway freight train. Miss H of course didn't let me cum, just tease me for a while before tucking me away in a dress, diapers, and a leather hood. I woke up this morning horny as hell, which is something that hasn't happened in a while. Now, I'm sitting here blogging, tweeting, Tumbling, and do just about anything possible to try to quench a virtually insatiable desire to cum. Something that won't be happening thanks to the cock cage and Miss H's apparent complete lack of interest in having me cum again any time soon.

More to come....

Health update

Just a quick pop in post to keep everyone apprised of my scrotum health, because after all, who isn't concerned with the status of my nuts ;) I got a scrotal ultrasound about two weeks ago and it was kind of nerve wracking, not because I was worried about the actual procedure, but because I was concerned that Miss H might make me do something embarrassing just to mess with me. She had joked about perhaps making me paint my nails before going to get the ultrasound. Luckily she didn't do anything of the sort and the whole thing went just fine.

They said it would take a few days for my Dr. to get the results so I figured when the Dr. got the results he would check it out and let me know what the next step was. Fast forward a week and a half and still no reply from the doctor so I give him a call. The receptionist takes my name and number and says someone will get back to me. Later that day a nurse calls and says the ultrasound showed epididymitis (which he had previously said I didn't have) and they were calling in a prescription for Cipro to my pharmacy.

I'm not holding out hope for the antibiotics to do much but we shall see. Miss H and I are going to be pretty busy this weekend but we may be able to squeeze in some time to play, I know I could use a nice diapering or maybe slipping into some nice long, tight boots.