Monday, November 7, 2011

Running low.

I woke up this morning with the usual problems facing me, I was incredibly horny and couldn't do much about it. Miss H was busy getting ready for work and I had some other things I needed to take care of so taking care of my now all encompassing horniness just didn't seem like an issue that could be fixed at the current time. I'm not going into work until later today so I was debating what I could potentially do about my dilemma over the next few hours. Masturbation was obviously out, Miss H would have none of that, so I strolled over to one of my closets where I keep all my girl clothes.

I was sort of surprised to notice how small my wardrobe was actually getting. It's still two full closets full of stuff including shoes, wigs, and toys, but I couldn't help but notice how it wasn't packed and bursting at the seams like it used to be. I remember getting rid of a few things that didn't fit quite as well as they used to, and there was more than one Vinyl item that had to go because they started flaking off, but there seemed to be a lot of clothes that I used to wear all the time that were now gone. It was a slow process of elimination, to many things going out and not enough new ones coming in to replace them.

When I first started dressing the number of clothes I had was nuts, probably almost as many girl clothes as guy clothes. My ex-wife was very understanding of what turned me on and would frequently come home with things for me to wear, which I totally loved because it reinforced to me that she was actually ok with what we were doing. It's one thing to say you like seeing me dress, it's another to be actively shopping for or with me. Anyway, so the wardrobe built up rather quickly. Over time our marriage ended and I moved on to my next girlfriend who I was with for while. She to was into my kinks but not exactly to the same level. She was pretty cool with things but didn't have the same level of enthusiasm. She loved the bondage and SM parts of our relationship but the dressing was more something she didn't mind as opposed to really got her off. So while she did occasionally pick up clothes for me, my wardrobe stayed about the same. I didn't really buy a lot of clothes either because I didn't want to "force" the issue of dressing with her.

We broke up a while ago but like they say, when one door closes, another opens. Not long after we went our separate ways I met Miss H and life has never been better. I can't remember a time in my life I've ever been happier then I am now with her being with me. It was a little while before I told Miss H about my kinks and she's been absolutely amazing in every regard. There's no better feeling then knowing you're with your perfect match. The person you're meant to be with.

Miss H and I have reached a level where we're on the same page about virtually every thing kink and fetish related. So you might think that I would be buying new clothes all the time because I have such a totally supportive and loving woman in my life right now. Not quite the case though.

The first problem is me. I always worry that I'm kind of forcing the issue. Miss H is awesome with everything but I don't want her to think that dressing is more important than her. I don't want her to feel relegated to just being some sort of prop or that she's just there to watch me get turned on by dressing. I don't want to burden her with having to do something she doesn't want to just to please me. Now Miss H says that's not the case, I'm just nervous that, just like the guy who spends every waking minute in the garage working on his car, Miss H will be resentful of me being so preoccupied with other interests. 

Second, financially, much like most people, times are tight. We have a good life together and we're not living under the bridge down by the river, but blasting out $400 for a really nice corset for either of us just isn't in the cards right now. Likewise, $100 for some new white patent leather boots doesn't seem like a good idea when the cable bill is atrociously high.

So as old clothes head out to Goodwill or the trash and aren't replaced with new ones, I shed a tiny little fashion tear for my lack of clothing options. Ok, I know, 1st world problem if there ever was one, but damn it I need a new shiny black hooker dress ;)

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