Back in diapers

A couple of weeks ago I happened to be on Amazon buying some Christmas presents for friends and family. While I was clicking and buying like a mad man I took a minute to check out my own "private" wishlist I had made on the site. Only Miss H and I can see and it provides an excellent way to keep track of future purchases I want to make and gifts I would like to receive. Most of the items on the list aren't exactly what you'd call impulse items, a $500 straight jacket or a $100 pair of platform boots for instance, but one item did catch my eye. A pair of pastel pink, size medium, plastic diaper panties for around $20. I've been eying them for a while and kept telling myself that "next time" I would finally get them. That next time finally happened.

Usually if I see them, I would pass on buying them because I was kind of embarrassed to get them or just didn't feel they were worth it when I still had a mortgage and tons of other bills to take care of first. This time though, with a raging hard on in my panties and an online shopping cart already stuffed with purchases, adding one last item for myself didn't seem like such a bad idea after all.

The packages came in the mail a few short days later. I'll save you the boredom of looking through images of books, movies, and the rest of the vanilla stuff and instead get right to the good stuff...

The color was a little too subtle for my taste, I'd have preferred a bright sissy pink as opposed to the very soft pink of the plastic, but overall it wasn't to bad. I got a size medium because with my first pair of plastic diaper panties I got a size large thinking that with all the extra padding of multiple diapers that a size medium (my normal clothing size) would be way to small. It turned out that the large was big even when Miss H super stuffed in diaper upon diaper. It was still useable, just a bit baggy and not as snug as it could have been. The size medium is almost perfect, tight around the legs to stop any leaks, yet big enough around the waist where I could easily accommodate a whole other diaper or two packed around my current diaper setup if she really wanted to make me waddle and keep me diapered for an extended period of time without changing me.

While we didn't really pack them in last night, we did get to get take the new plastic panties for a test drive and I love them. 

They do look a big white in the picture but I think that's partially due to the coloring of the photo and also because they're semi transparent and the thick diaper directly underneath them is white as well. At some point I'll probably try to get another pair that is a very dark pink and maybe isn't so clear, but for now I hope to get many, many more opportunities to enjoy the pair I have ;)

Back with a vengeance

After what's been a roughly two week patch without any real kink or FLR type activity going on, Miss H and I finally got two seconds to breath last night and had a chance to play. The reason for our "pause" in the FLR isn't because of anything bad at all, in fact it was due to something really wonderful and amazing (I'll catch you up with a more in depth explanation later, running really short on time right now). Last night though really rekindled the kinky fires however.

To be honest I was in kind of a hum-drum mood about the idea of playing yesterday, initially at least. It's not that I didn't want to as much as I just felt it could go either way. If we played, great. If we don't, that's cool too because I have a bunch of other things I needed to do also. Once we got into though, I couldn't believe how good it felt on so many levels. The raging, almost obsessive desire to cum came back like a runaway freight train. Miss H of course didn't let me cum, just tease me for a while before tucking me away in a dress, diapers, and a leather hood. I woke up this morning horny as hell, which is something that hasn't happened in a while. Now, I'm sitting here blogging, tweeting, Tumbling, and do just about anything possible to try to quench a virtually insatiable desire to cum. Something that won't be happening thanks to the cock cage and Miss H's apparent complete lack of interest in having me cum again any time soon.

More to come....

Health update

Just a quick pop in post to keep everyone apprised of my scrotum health, because after all, who isn't concerned with the status of my nuts ;) I got a scrotal ultrasound about two weeks ago and it was kind of nerve wracking, not because I was worried about the actual procedure, but because I was concerned that Miss H might make me do something embarrassing just to mess with me. She had joked about perhaps making me paint my nails before going to get the ultrasound. Luckily she didn't do anything of the sort and the whole thing went just fine.

They said it would take a few days for my Dr. to get the results so I figured when the Dr. got the results he would check it out and let me know what the next step was. Fast forward a week and a half and still no reply from the doctor so I give him a call. The receptionist takes my name and number and says someone will get back to me. Later that day a nurse calls and says the ultrasound showed epididymitis (which he had previously said I didn't have) and they were calling in a prescription for Cipro to my pharmacy.

I'm not holding out hope for the antibiotics to do much but we shall see. Miss H and I are going to be pretty busy this weekend but we may be able to squeeze in some time to play, I know I could use a nice diapering or maybe slipping into some nice long, tight boots.

Out for a walk

I don't exercise nearly as much as I should, but at the very least I try to head out 3-4 times a week and go for a nice 40 minute walk. Usually this is kind of late at night due to the fact that it's about the only free time I have and also because the weather is much more comfortable that time of night. I toss on my earbuds, fire up some podcasts and just let the stress of the day fade away as I have a nice little slice of peace and quite to resettle myself before the start of another hectic work day.

Two nights ago I was getting ready to head out for my walk so I stopped into our bedroom to kiss Miss H goodbye. She was laying down in bed, reading a book on her Kindle, as I walked up to her. I was feeling more then a bit horny at the time so I ran my hand across her ass while kissing her, hoping it would spark something and provide me with some relief from an extended time in chastity. She smiled and kissed me back but that was it, she quickly returned to reading her book, seemingly not interested in going any further with my sexual advances. I made a fake groaning noise like a wounded animal and sighed, "Jesus Christ, I am so horny". "Oh well", was her only response as she dove back into the Kindle.

"I'm telling you, I swear to god, any ground hogs or anything like that out there tonight better watch out because I'm going to grab the first one I see and fuck the royal hell out of it, I'm so horny", I said with a laugh. "Well, I don't know about groundhogs, but if you're that horny on your walk I have something you can do. I don't care where, but somewhere during your walk tonight I want you to stop and jerk off for at least 30 seconds. Then txt me when you're done so I know you've done as I've asked", she replied without a hint of humor in her voice.

I of course freaked out because while I don't exactly live in the middle of Broad & Pattison, it's not the middle of nowhere either. I'm telling her how this is a really bad idea and how all it takes is one neighbor or passing car to see me and next thing you know I'm in jail for public indecency or something like that. Unfortunately, she was hearing none of it. "Be creative, it's dark, it's almost 11pm, and there are plenty of little nooks and crannies to slink into", was her only reply. I could have flat out said no, but then that means the cage isn't coming off anytime soon after that and more importantly, it causes a big issue with the real life FLR we're trying to nurture and grow into. The point of an FLR is that the female is in charge, so to disobey a command just because I didn't like it and it wasn't something that really turned me on means that the FLR is nothing more then a sex game to get me off, which  is exactly what I don't want to have this become.

I tried to talk my way out of it, by attempting to reason with her and offer up other potential punishments that she might prefer (and keep the cops from picking my ass up), but she didn't budge. At the time I was pissed, it felt like she was just trying to be edgy for the sake of trying to show who was in charge, but now looking back, she wasn't *trying* to show who was in charge, she was clearly proving who was in charge. She knew I would do it and deep down I knew I would do it too, she did it to just knock me down one more peg. Much like a drill sergeant has to break down his new marine recruits before he can mold them into the soldiers he wants, Miss H was breaking down my resistance and hesitation to fully embrace the FLR with one more display of her power and control over me.

I walked around the neighborhood for almost an hour trying to find a good spot to fulfill Miss H's dirty deed for me. Each time I thought I had a good spot however the problems were always the same, street lights a little too bright, people out in front of their house, or to much activity inside a house. I could have snuck into somebody's backyard but that seemed too dangerous, last thing I need is a neighbor thinking I'm a peeping tom or a burglar. Finally I settled on a curved portion of the road that connects two sections of my neighborhood. It was wooded on both sides of the road, with the nearest houses perhaps 600 yards away in either direction. There was a street light there which made things brighter then I would have liked but if I stood at the middle of the curve I could see down both directions in case any cars were headed to me. I didn't want to head into the woods because they were really wet and swampy from the rain and small creek that flows under the road.

Eventually I walked about 5 feet onto the grass at the side of the road before the woods, looked around for any potential walkers or cars, then proceeded to get down to business. Miss H never mentioned having to take my shorts totally off so I pulled them down slightly instead and started jerking off. The first picture was kind of dark because I turned the flash off on the camera for obvious reasons.

I wasn't sure if that was going to be good enough for Miss H so I decided to take one last quick snap and then hightail it out of there.

Thankfully nobody saw anything and I managed to get back home with no one the wiser of what I had just done for my Mistress.

New-ish pics

No super indepth posts today, just a few pictures from a week or so ago that I never got around to putting up here. Enjoy!

My favorite drink.

Last night Miss H and I started getting into some kinky fun and somewhere along the line I half jokingly mentioned something about how I haven't had to drink any of her piss recently (ok, fine, so I was dead serious about it but still trying to act like I was just joking). She thought about it for a minute, crooked her head to the side, and then smiled. "You're absolutely right", she said with an air of mischief in her voice. "I'll be right back". She returned not long after with a small wine glass, one that she keeps in her bathroom for just such a purpose, filled with her warm, fresh pee.

I reached for the glass and was about to eagerly gulp it down when she intervened. "No, get on your knees in front of me first", she commanded. I did as I was told and soon the first sip passed my lips as I furiously stroked my little boy clit, unable to look at her as I put on this pathetic spectacle in front of her. My mind burned with humiliation and shame but my cock raged and dripped as I thought about what she must think as she watched me drink down every last drop.

Miss H refilled my cup two more times that night, each time making me repeat the same embarrassing process in front of her. Each time feeling a bit worse about it then before, as my eagerness to be her piss slave was becoming more and more blatantly obvious. I tried to act like it wasn't turning me on but it wasn't hard to see the truth. Each time I heard the bathroom door open I would practically run and dive to get down on my knees to await my special treat, jacking off like a madman in horny anticipation.

Near the end of the night she mentioned how much she enjoyed having me drink her piss, how it was so degrading and something that she might want to add to into our regular rotation, perhaps becoming a new "daily ritual", one of those small but significant things that we do on a daily basis that keeps us in the FLR zone even when vanilla life tries its best to dampen that. I'm keeping my fingers crossed...

Craving humiliation

The other night I was reading some posts on one of the fetish/chastity message forums I frequent every now and again. The question posed was, do you feel the need the need for physical pain if you've been locked up in chastity for an extended period of time? The reasoning being that the normal rush of endorphins from sex and orgasm were missing because of the chastity so as a means to replace that, the author was seeking to get that endorphin rush in another manner, S/M play. I think there's a lot of validity to that, because in my own experience I like pain and discipline as part of our sexual play, it's not always my first choice (I prefer bondage, dressing, humiliation, etc more then actual pain) but I've definitely noticed that the longer I'm in chastity and the hornier I get, the more I seem to want a good caning or paddling at the hands of Miss H.

It's like I need the emotional charge and buildup of the pain and then the eventual release of it stopping to be able to get any sense of mental calm and put myself back into a more docile state. Otherwise I get so overcharged sexually that I'm like a maniac, unable to do anything else other then focus on my desire for sex. A few days into chastity and I'm secretly hoping Miss H will keep her cane on the shelf, yet fast forward a couple of weeks and I'm on all fours begging to be hit harder and harder.

I think my desire for humiliation and verbal abuse is very similar as well. The more I'm denied sexually, the more I need deeper and more intense forms of humiliation and degradation. Comparing day one of chastity with day 30 is like night and day.  Maybe it's that I'm so horny that it allows me to be more open and accepting of what really turns me on and be willing to actually enjoy it as opposed to being totally embarrassed and ashamed of the same things when I'm not in a horny mood.

Case in point, the other night with Miss H. She has a pair of shoes she often wears to work, they're a pair of patent leather flats that she likes because they're comfortable yet stylish enough to wear for her job. Normally I only really like the total whore, 6" platform type stripper shoes but for some reason these shoes intrigued me. I'm not exactly sure why, but I've been kind of turned on by them recently. To the point where I actually asked her to wear them to bed for me. Miss H was nice enough to humor me and wear them and they looked amazing on her. She normally doesn't dress up or "accessorize", mainly because she doesn't need to (she's super hot like that) so her wearing shoes of any type to bed instantly did it for me.

It wasn't long before I was at the bottom of the bed worshiping her shoes eagerly with my tongue. Kissing and licking every inch of the shiny, smooth material. The humiliation of licking her shoes, especially when they weren't even "sexy" footwear was getting me hard and dripping in no time. While it was wonderful and a big turn on, I needed more. More humiliation, more degradation, more abuse, so I muttered something under my breath that I had been up until that point to scared to ask.

"What was that?", Miss H snapped, unable to hear what I had said.

"Nothing", I meekly stammered. "No, tell me what you said, now", she replied as she lightly tapped my now hanging head with her foot.

"Could....could...I please lick the bottom of your shoe?", I said with a wave of utter shame crashing over me. Without skipping a beat or hesitating, she ordered me to lick the bottom of her left shoe. I was both disgusted with what I was doing and yet turned on immensely at the same time. The physical sensation wasn't anything to write home about, it just tasted like rubber, but mentally it was crushing.

"Are these the ones you wear to outside to work?", I asked, already knowing the answer. "You mean are these the shoes I wear out on the public streets, in my office, in public bathrooms, and everywhere else in town? Why yes they are", she said in a totally relaxed voice. "Now why don't you start on the bottom of my other foot".

I continued on both of her feet, moving back and forth between the two shoes, licking all over and underneath them for a while longer before Miss H finally told me to stop. As a reward for being such a good foot slave she allowed me to touch her and even put on a condom and enter her. That of course didn't last long, after just a few strokes I was already ready to cum and had to pull out. Miss H chastised me for my poor performance and told me to continue. I warned her I wouldn't be able to last much longer but she didn't care, she was either in the mood to finally get fucked hard (if only briefly) or to just have me finish so she could end things because she was bored. What ever the reason, I slammed into her as hard as I could and almost immediately I felt I was about to cum so I kept pumping away, a huge load of cum filling the condom. I groaned in ecstasy and then rolled off of her.

"Now go ahead take that condom off and drink it, you know the rules, no cumming without drinking it right back down", she mockingly said. I knew there was no use arguing so I did it like a shot, one quick hit and swallowed it as fast as possible. We then both got up and went to clean up and get ourselves ready for bed. As we laid down to go to bed I leaned over to give her a kiss like I do every night, she pulled her head back though which was a first. "Do you really think I'd let a dirty shoe licking, cum drinker kiss me? I don't want to get anywhere near that filthy mouth", she said with a scowl. It hurt to hear that but my now throbbing hard on told a different story. I was allowed to snuggle with her but my lips didn't get close for the rest of the night, Miss H made sure of that.

It was a good night.