Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A little sore this morning.

Last night was a good night. You might not think that a night of physical abuse and pain would have that effect on a person but it's strange what you learn as you explore new things. I never was really into pain that much, as a sub my interests are more along the line of humiliation, verbal abuse, servitude, and bondage. I'd much rather have you abuse my psyche then my body, or so I at least thought.

Now I haven't yet made the jump to total pain slut, but I have started to enjoy a much more intense level of physical play between Miss H and myself. It started off as just something I took because that's what Mistress desired. She wants to beat me so that's what happens. I was rather neutral on the whole issue, I didn't absolutely dread it, but it wasn't something that I eagerly looked forward to either. The point where that began to change was when Miss H started expanding the length and intensity of these punishment sessions. A quick "bend over and I'll beat your ass with a paddle for five minutes" just kind of hurt. A session like last night however literally had me begging for me even though it was among the most painful things I had ever experienced.

Knowing that there was a date and time set for my punishment had me anxious and that nervous energy was a turn on. The whole day I knew what was coming and just how bad it was going to probably be. Usually Mistress just has me bend over or get on all fours for my canings, this time I was chained spread eagle on the bed with a pillow under my stomach to push my ass out into proper position. That lack of control, that not being able to stop the caning if I wanted to was wildly erotic for me. I couldn't just roll over or jump off the bed if I wanted it to stop, no matter how hard I struggled, the chains kept me tied down tight.

Miss H started slowly, warming me up with a paddle then moving onto the cane, even then alternating speeds and force like a conductor with an orchestra. Building to a crescendo of unbelievable pain, only stopping momentarily to let me savor the sting of her work before starting once more. The rhythmic tempo of her abuse ebbed and flowed, a wave of pain crashing down on me only to occasionally be soothed by the soft stroke of her hand along a quivering penis. The classic carrot and stick, my back eagerly arching into position, pleading for the cane, knowing full well that it may be followed once more by her gentle stroking, if only I could willingly accept just one more hit. Or two. Or three...

The stark contrast between the pleasure and pain soon muddied until it was just a constant stream of sensations flowing through my body. I couldn't tell which was which, all I knew was that I never wanted it to stop. The raw animal emotion of the moment was taking over, the hurt, the pleasure, the desire, all become a single feeling, submission. Submission to my Mistress, Miss H.

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