Thursday, March 8, 2012

A big turning point.

I feel as though Miss H and I have come to a major fork in the road that will begin to redefine exactly what our FLR means to us. Is it a little game we play to spice things up, a major part of our sex life, or one of the biggest things that define who we are as a couple. Miss H had mentioned in passing over the past week or so how once we get back into our FLR after our short month long break, things would be serious. We were taking things up a few levels and it was unlikely I would be allowed to cum before 2013 at best. Ruined orgasms/milkings would still be given to maintain health, but a real orgasm would be out of the question. I was excited to say the least at the potential changes that were upcoming.

A few months ago I forwarded a blog post (can't remember the site right now, sorry) to Miss H and the topic was financial domination in the couples FLR relationship. Both husband and wife had high paying professional jobs but all decisions were strictly made by the wife. Both their paychecks were deposited into a joint account that only she could now access. She not only paid the bills,etc from that account but used it to provide a modest allowance for her husband. It was barely enough to buy anything other then perhaps a meal out once a week or so. If the husband wanted something he had to properly go through a humiliating ritual  that was part of the process of asking  his wife to have the money for what ever particular item he wanted to buy. If she said no, that was it and the discussion was over.

I was never a fan of financial domination, it always seemed like a scam for a dominatrix to basically just act bitchy and flat out tell people to buy her stuff as a means of "tribute". This on the other hand felt different. It wasn't fleecing somebody for a cheap sexual thrill, but another means to totally emasculate the blog author's husband. The money wasn't wasted, she used it for regular household needs and the occasional special purchase for herself, but it just provided one more way to ram home the idea that she was in charge and he simply wasn't even on the same level as her anymore.

I forwarded the link to Miss H and she seemed halfway interested in the idea. Not going crazy over it but certainly at least intrigued by it. As the weeks went by she would now and again mention something about how perhaps we should do the same thing. My check would go into her account and then she could properly dole out a suitable allowance because often times I'm more concerned with buying things I want then saving for our wedding or other bigger, more important things. The idea turned me on but I dismissed the whole idea as nothing more then "pillow talk" Miss H was using to trying and turn me on. It sounded good, but would unfortunately never amount to anything, much like some of the other fantasies we often talked about.

Today I got a txt from her and the message basically said that she was sick of me watching sports all the time (I do tend to get obsessive about watching sports, so she's got a point) and that she had been thinking about our previous discussions in regards to financial domination so starting this Sunday, I was free to watch as many games as I wanted. The catch was from that point on, any game would cost me $7.50 to watch. Didn't matter if I watched a five minutes or the entire game, the price was the same. At home, on my phone, at a bar, anywhere I saw the game I was expected to be honest and report it to her and at the end of each week tally up my bill and present her with payment. Now $7.50 may not sound like too much, but I watch at least some portion of 2-3 games a night, more on the weekends, so it can add up real quick. Miss H told me that at my current rate she'll be able to afford a trip to see part of her family in barely over a month.

The idea resonated with her for three reasons, first because it's going to deeply curtail the amount of sports which I love to watch but she hates. Second, it's a way to show once again that she's the one in charge, and three, the idea of getting an extra little paycheck each week certainly is a motivating factor. I figured she was just playing around because the day before I was droning on about how psyched I was for March Madness and the ensuing onslaught of college basketball games that would bring. I sent back a few "sure, whatever, you're funny" txt's in response but it soon became clear that she was pretty serious about the idea

To be perfectly honest, I was immediately torn about the idea. On the one hand, that sounds super hot and anything at all Miss H does to become more dominant, more aggressive, and generally more of a ball busting bitch is just plain awesome in my book. The flip side to that though is, well, I love sports and there is going to be a precipitous drop in the number of hours of TV watching I'm going to be able to afford. It's going to be hard to give all that up, especially with the tournament about to start and baseball coming soon.

I guess my biggest worry/turn on/anxiety is how this is all going to play out in the long run. I'm taking Miss H at face value that she's becoming much more comfortable with her role as a Domme and with our FLR in general and this is honestly a first step into a much more serious and complete wife led marriage. The wetness in my panties right now from all my precum is a testament to how much the idea of it gets me excited but I'm just concerned how I'll feel with things once I have cum and I'm not thinking so much with my little head instead of my big head if you know what I mean. I actually think it will be ok, well more then ok and probably one of the best things I've ever done. However I'm also a bit freaked out by big changes and I think that this is probably just the start of something a whole lot bigger and much more intense in terms of all aspects of our FLR.

That being said, I really don't know how much of a say I have in the matter any way. I suppose I can just say no, I'm not paying you and I'm going to do what I want. Miss H wouldn't yell or throw a hissy fit over it. She would just say ok and act like nothing major happened. Of course that would probably be the last time I ever came close to any type of sex or kink from her again for a very, very long time. It's kind of all or nothing, especially now as she seems to actually want to get more extreme as opposed to doing it for my benefit. It's hard to tell her that I flat out refuse her order then the next night ask her to please spank me. She's of the school of thought that once you burn a bridge there's no coming back.

I want to see just how far Miss H is going to take things and if opening my wallet is the first step in that journey then in my mind it's a small price to pay both literally and figuratively. It should be an interesting journey.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe Her Grace will let me play video games again if i show Her this! I haven't play a video game by myself since i was locked a year ago!