Blog writing assignment day #4

The topic for today is "Reread your blog from the beginning and reflect on how things have changed and what you would like to see a year from now". Looking back through all of the 170 posts I've made since I started this blog there are a few things that become quite apparent. The first being that I really need to spend more time proof reading my work for grammatical errors ;) I tend to get on a roll and type just about as fast as the words pop into my head so it becomes a sort of stream of consciousness thing and going back to edit at the end seems to rarely happen. It drives Miss H crazy because writing is one of her specialties so I'm sure that when she's reading my post she must be gritting her teeth and cursing me under her breath.

One a more serious note I think the biggest change from then to now is that I'm starting to get more comfortable with both Miss H and my kinks and consequently things are slowly inching more extreme with each passing day. That's a good thing in my mind and shows me that we're exploring new things and expanding what our comfort level is. I have to laugh when I think about the things I used to worry about telling Miss H. The first time I told her I wanted to be forced into wearing a diaper or having to drink a cup of her piss. They seemed like they would be instant relationship killers. That would be taking things one step to far and it would be the breaking point that would cause Miss H to finally just say she's had it and that would be the end of things. Instead, she's about the most understanding, awesome person you could imagine. If you're a fan of sex columnist Dan Savage then she's the definition of GGG.

The other big change has been Miss H's evolution into a true dominant. She was very hesitant and self conscious when we first starting our FLR. She seemed to be more concerned with living up to what the stereotypical vision of a dominant female was. She was often times more of an actress trying to play a role to turn me on then actually fully embracing her own dominant desires and doing what she really wanted. It was a learning phase for both of us and thankfully we've both become more at ease with what we like. She will still on occasion do what she knows turns me on, but now it's because she's feeling generous and wants to provide me pleasure as opposed to feeling obligated to do it and pressured. For example she knows I love to worship her feet when she gets home from a long day at work so she allows me that joy. Yet, if she's had a bad day at work and isn't in the mood, she won't show a seconds hesitation to tell me no and to leave her alone.

A year from now I hope we're actually in a similar situation to where we are now. Our FLR will be still in full effect and going strong, I'll be blogging about our latest kinky adventures, and there will still be that electric, kind of nervous energy I get every time I'm around Miss H. I'm pretty sure I'll still be super neurotic about my kinks, only a year from now it will be anxious about a whole new set of kinky things I want to try instead of my current issues. If I had to make a list of things I would like to see in place a year from now it would probably be similar to things I've mentioned in the past few day's blog posts. Namely, more diaper and dressing time, exploring the "frilly sissy" aspect of dressing (like the pic below) to a larger degree, and just having my limits really pushed in all manners, whether it be with bondage, humiliation, S/M or anything else. I'd love to see just how far Miss H can push me and find out exactly where my breaking point truly is. The challenge of not giving in to her when she tells me to do something I hate/fear is another of those weird mind fucks that I get off on.

From Feminizeme.com

There are a few other fantasies that Miss H and I often delve into that I would like to see either take place in the next year or at least start moving in that direction in a very concrete way. This is of course dependent on Miss H and I sitting down and talking about them ahead of time and both being fully ok with taking it any further. I want these to be our fantasies and turns on that are being acted on, something that we do together as a loving couple as a way to mutually enjoy ourselves in a new and different way.