Sunday, January 29, 2012

Allowed to finally cum.

Last night was meant to be a time for a little kink and a lot of strap on. Miss H and I set aside the night to just spend with each other and enjoy ourselves. We had planned a fun time that included me dressing, servicing Miss H, and probably breaking out a few toys to play with. It started out with a quick drink and some mindless TV on in the background. After a while we started making out and one thing led to another and before you know it we were naked and rolling around in bed. Miss H had just cum from me using my fingers and tongue on her and while pulling away I half heartedly mentioned something about being inside of her.

She agreed, which was surprise enough, but what she did next was even more of a shock. Because I've been without the benefit of a real orgasm in months, I'm constantly on the edge of cumming when Miss H touches me. Naturally it didn't take more then a few strokes inside Miss H before I was pulling out and trying not to make a huge mess. "God, I want to cum so fucking bad", I moaned, more as a general statement then any type of subtle question, to which Miss H replied, "well then go ahead and cum".  I thought she was just screwing with me so I held back, slowly pushing in to her before stopping to compose myself and not cum. "That's not a polite request, that's an order", she said as she looked into my eyes. With two quick pumps I did as she asked.

The experience was actually kind of weird. I felt the buildup and myself getting to the point of no return, then it felt like my cum just fell out of me, sort of like with a ruined orgasm. I could feel the cum spraying out but any type of orgasm was almost non-existent. I kept pumping after I had finished and maybe within ten seconds I felt as though I had to cum again so I started fucking Miss H even harder. The feeling soon went away and I don't think I came again but it was hard to tell. The sensation just seemed to fade away and Miss H was already so wet from my first ejaculation that I didn't know if I had cum anymore. 

The emotional/sexual drain happened almost immediately afterwards too. In a two minute span I had gone from so horny I would fuck a hole in the sofa to suddenly my most pressing concern was what college basketball game would be on the next morning. There was also some slight almost burning pain radiating from the base of the penis but that soon went away as well.

Looking back at last night in the fully sober, clear light of today, it does seem odd about the lack of orgasm. In the past I've read on some chastity forums where people had said that the first orgasm after a extremely long period of denial (several months in my case) may be rather lackluster, but subsequent orgasms are in line with previous pre-chastity orgasms. So it will be interesting to see how that plays out. From a mental standpoint it made me think of the Seinfeld episode where they have a contest to see who can go the longest without masturbating. The one's the masturbate are all calm and relaxed while those that haven't are a raging bundle of nerves and anxiety. 

That's kind of how I feel now, just totally chill and focused. This time yesterday I was scrolling through Tumblr with a crazed determination, desperate for anything sexual to feed my overwhelming appetite. I followed Miss H around like a lonely little puppy, dying for even the slightest bit of attention from her. Now though while sex isn't the farthest thing from my mind, it certainly isn't the driving factor in everything I've done today. I'm not sure how Miss H is going to play the next few days. Whether she'll let this mood continue as it is and provide a short break before getting back into things or try to get me right back into the crazed sexual mode, I don't know. In the mean time, the chastity counter at the top of this page gets reset to zero. I wonder how long it will be next time.

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